Have you seen the preview for This is 40? When Aaron emailed me a link to the trailer and said, "I swear - I think you wrote this movie" I was intrigued. A few minutes into the trailer I was laughing and rolling my eyes. I guess I can see (barely) how Aaron could think (wrongly) that I'm a little bit (I mean a tad bit) like the woman in the trailer who is freaked out about aging. My fifty recent "I hate myself - I have wrinkles - I want to die - just go ahead and put me down now" meltdowns may have something to do with Aaron thinking I'm slightly (just a teensy-bit) scared (terrified) of getting older.
I'm not turning 40. I still have a few more years to go, but still - I've been feeling old and tired lately. We've all heard that beauty is fleeting. I guess I didn't totally grasp that "fleeting" means beauty's rate of slippage could effortlessly pace with the likes of Usain Bolt.
Beauty is not fleeting. It's galloping. Galloping. Beauty makes a break for it faster than a male exits a room when women start talking about birth or breastfeeding.
I have friends and read blogs written by women who completely embrace Gravity. They have befriended Gray Hair. With lighthearted laughter, a simple shrug, and a "Meh" they face that dreaded day when women must decide capris - not shorts - are their only summer option.
Their resolve is admirable and regrettably completely foreign to me.
For the time being, I have rock solid plans to go down breathlessly flailing and fighting wrinkles, weight gain, and floppy arms. I don't want to care about my outward appearance. It bothers me how shallow and vain I feel about my appearance changing. I don't want to waste brain space worrying or spending time on areas of life that simply do not matter in the larger context of this world. I make all of those statements while I'm obsessively slathering all sorts of creams and ointments in various key bodily locations. Hating aging and coping poorly is obviously where I am right now. I am well aware that I'm fighting a losing battle, and I'm fighting it with gusto which makes me both vain and idiotic. Fabulous, right? The logical side of my brain (this section inside my head is minuscule and only takes up a very tiny amount of space) reminds me that I've never seen a 75 year old lady - of the non-Hollywood, mortal variety - who looks like she did when she was 25. Yet here I am - rubbing anti-aging cream on my face and neck twice daily.
How is everyone else feeling about getting older? Are you handling your body changing better or worse than you expected? How do you cope? If you're young - go stand in front of a mirror and whether you feel like it or not - tell yourself how beautiful you are - hug yourself and chant, "It only gets worse. It only gets worse." Take lots of pictures of your legs. One day you may or may not fall asleep crying, holding a picture of those gorgeous legs flowing out of shorts so short they stole sleep from your mother.
Most importantly - how is everyone fighting aging? What products do you love?
Okay fine. (insert eye roll) Most importantly (I guess) - good thing our worth is not tied up in our physical appearance, that Aging's gnarly hands can never lay a wrinkled finger on our inner character and beauty. That liver-spotted hag who visits me in my sleep and dances a devilish jig, whispering, "Sag. Sag. Sag!" is unable to wither the parts of my soul that have grown and are forever breaking forth in new life. Growth, maturity, and a deeper faith mock Death and Aging. True beauty will ultimately win. (Right after we all go senile, forget the names of our children, people ignore us, and we start wearing diapers again - oh my gosh, Aging - I hate you.)
(she clears her throat) So for realz -
You better share your anti-aging secrets - your plan - if you've got one. While I'm drinking plenty of water and performing neck exercises, I'll also be taking notes.
My plan - drink lots of water, exercise, whine a lot, wash my face every single day, cry, curse natural forces, slather, slather, slather, slather. I'll be sharing the specifics in the next few posts. Hope you'll hang out and contribute to the conversation.
"You sure are mean since your body got weird." -- This is 40