Monday, February 27, 2012

Boys and Compliments

How many miniature males do I have to parent before I learn my lesson about boys and compliments?

Anson.  Age 3.  Sees me in my brand new, cream-colored, thinly crocheted sweater that was oh-so popular in the year 2002.  I had waited months to buy one of these bad boys.  Anson takes one look at me.  His eyes light up.  He rushes over to where I'm standing, grabs the edges of my sweater and says, "Mommy.  You look so beautiful."  It was the first time I had ever heard such lovely words from my first born son.  No one prepared me for how my heart would I would suddenly feel like I had missed my calling as a supermodel (if you ignore the baby snot that was probably on my shoulder and in parts of my hair).  No one told me that hearing such sweet, heartfelt praise from a son could immediately make a mother's entire life.   My head was rather big, and I was feeling so incredibly beautiful that I almost didn't hear Anson say, "Mom!  You look just like Spider Man with that shirt."  Wah-wah.  Record scratch.  He spent the rest of the day aiming his Spider Man hand at my torso, pretending to shoot out a web.  I spent the rest of the day trying to ignore him.

Hayden.  Age 4.  Tall, leather black boots have surfaced in the fashion world. I got some for my birthday.  I put those high-heeled suckers on and walked into the living room feeling like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.  Hayden looks my way, starts jumping up and down on the couch and chanting..."You are so cool, mom.  You are so cool!"  I was equally marveling at my four year old's obvious fashion sense and feeling like a rock star.  Why didn't I run?  Run like mad?  Hayden stopped jumping and said, "You look a Power Ranger.  Can I wear your boots?  Please?"  He went and immediately put on a costume.  So we could "match."

Hudson.  Age 3.5.  Last night I'm sporting my skinny jeans and tall, semi-furry brown boots.  I'm a little hot and sweaty from stuffing my pants legs tightly into my boots.  They have to be just right, ya know.  If we're tucking our pants into our boots again, can I just say that I vote that stirrup pants come back in style?  I'll run the campaign, make the posters, pass out the buttons if I must. I really will.  I mean it.  Hudson runs around the corner, enters my room, stops dead in his tracks, and proceeds to stare me up and down.  I have no idea what to expect.  His wheels are turning.  "Mom.  I like it. I like you boots."

Aw.  Nice.  He's being nice!  I'm just about to swoop him up and thank him for his sweet compliment when I hear...

"You look like Hiccup!"

Aaron tried to save the day (while laughing).  
"Don't you think mom looks like Astrid?"

Hudson thought it over.  "No.  She look like Hiccup."

Note to self:  When your son says something nice, take those words and your high-heeled boots and run out of the room.  Run for your life.  Run fast before they tell you that you look like a prepubescence Viking boy.

Don't say I never warned you.  


Lauren & Boys said...

Thank you for the laugh. So true about boys.

Denise said...

Hilarious! Very true - you just never know what the second part of the compliment will be. I have to fight you on the stirrup pants though -- I accidentally put on a pair a few months ago and it grossed me out so badly I jumped out of them as fast as I could! lol Just brought back some crazy memories of high school. You can sew some elastic bottoms on your own pants though and I promise not to tell ;)

Cami Franklin said...

My whole family - especially my husband is CRACKING UP!!! Love it girl!

Chronicles of a Real Estate Junkie said...

Ha Ha!! Being a mother of only boys I totally relate. Last year when feathers in your hair was all the rage; I decided to add a few to my do. As I was explaining to some friends that they should do the same thing, my oldest boy announces to them that "I am always trying to spice it up".

Kayla said...

This is brilliant. Boys are so funny.

Erin said...

L to the O to the LLL. My boy is only 6 months. I feel better prepared now.

Wanda said...

Oh my giggling heart! Nothing sounds sweeter than some fashion compliments from sons!

Carrie said...

I would totally follow you on the stirrup pants crusade. But, only if it was followed by an overalls rally.

Bec and Barry said...

Oh so funny, I read it to everyone in the room and we all laughed and laughed. Love your boys.

Melda said...

Girl....I'd take it!

Zion was REALLY mad at me once when he was 4ish -
and stomped down the stairs
hands on his hips
and loudly proclaimed,
"When you get old -
I'm never coming to visit you!"




He's my baby!


Amber said...

This post could have been written from my house! My two-year-old has started calling me "big mommy" because he thinks being "big" is awesome! My husband thinks it's hilarious...

Lara said...

Haha. I will have to tuck this away for future reference. Your past couple posts have me cracking up. Peeing in boots, orange pee, and this. Love it.

Robin said...

neenSomething yo don't have to worry about for a long time.

My son was rubbing my foream. "Mom, you have such soft skin."

Wait for it.

"Just like Grandma."

Rebecca Conger said...

Those are all BEAUTIFUL Compliments from your sons! I could only wish I will receive compliments like those from my future sons. What better to be than to remind them of all the things they admire and stand in Awe of. You may think, "he thinks I look like a prepubescent viking boy", but in his mind he's thinking you look like one strong, independent, trail blazing, trend setting individual. you look like you could go out in the world and become the world's first dragon rider. Keep in mind the perspective of a little boy and you'll have a firm grasp of the gravity of their compliments. :)

P.S. Don't EVER think being a Power Ranger is uncool. If a little boy thinks you remind him of one, He basically thinks you are second only to God himself.

Joanna said...

With girls, they want to dress you up. Then you have to find a way to make them feel their efforts are appreciated w/o insulting them by refusing to wear bows, headbands, clips, and earrings in your hair out in public. They are convinced you've never looked so fabulous and are dying to show the new you off to the neighbors.

Daughter of the King said...

This made me laugh out loud!!! and I'm at work...oops! It's all so typical. I have three brothers, two of them being 12 & 14 years younger than myself, so I feel ya on this one!

John and Perla said...

But Heather, to your boys, those are some of the most beautiful things they have ever seen - Spiderman, Power Rangers and Hiccup. Are you kidding me?!?

Whenever compliments or criticism come - consider the source.

You must have been stunning on all THREE occasions!