Thursday, May 27, 2010

When God Speaks Through a Kenyan



Third grade...

The year I got the chicken pox

Mom let me stay home for one week

(because I was contagious)

And then another week

(because I was ugly)

Third grade...

The year I got a Mickey Mouse watch for Christmas

"It's a Small World After All" played every hour on the hour

One day I remember being on the verge of tears

I was fighting back the ugly cry.

In that moment, my watch announced a new hour.

"It's A Small World After All" slurped the liquid out of my eyes

and instantly relieved the boo-hoo pressure in the front of my face.

From that day on, I always sing "It's a Small World After All" when I need to push back the tears, push them way back.

Two days ago...

I had another break down

(yes, the whiny baby rides again.  Will this ever end?)

In the middle of moving I realized something...

I hate moving.

I hate packing.

I hate the mother I become when our life is in such chaos.

For three weeks I had been playing tetris with boxes, sorting and crying

I missed my normal life.

I missed my friends.

I missed spending real time with my children.

I'm terrible at tetris.

In that moment it hit me...

Moving

That's all I see on the horizon for us.

The move to the farm.

The move to Haiti.

move, move, move

I downright lost it with Aaron...raised my voice and was a beast.

"I don't want to move for the rest of my life, Aaron...I am too old for this.  I want to settle down.  I want to stay in the same place.  I have moved a life time of moves in the first 14 years of marriage.  I don't want the next 14 to be like the first 14. I want to stay put!"

We went to bed mad at each other, even though the Bible says you shouldn't do that.

I fell asleep telling God I was tired of saying how sorry I am for being faithless.  I just don't want to move so much.  So there. 

The next day...

moving day

A man from Kenya came to help.

(He didn't come all the way from Kenya to help us move.  He's just from Kenya.  And he came to help.)

I don't know the man from Kenya.  He goes to my church and came to help load up our stuff.

While throwing trampoline parts into the truck, he asked me how I felt to be moving. 

sigh

I told him that I feel sad.  Some days I'm not sad, but today I'm sad.

Then he looked at me, and calmly said in his wonderful Kenyan accent...

"You should not be sad to move.  Moving reminds us that we do not belong here.  We're only passing through.  Maybe people should move more often so they remember."

All I said was, "I'm sad."  How on earth did this man know why?  Or that we'd moved a lot?  Or that lots more moves were on the agenda?  There were a million reasons why I could have been sad to leave my home.  No one knew about the break down the night before.  No one.

How can I say this without everyone questioning my salvation?

I'm not someone who goes around looking for God to speak to me through coffeemate or lyrics in a song.  I'm just not that person. Honestly, I think those people are kind of kooky.

But when that sweet man said those words to me right after I freaked out on my husband...

All I could say to him was

"There's some pizza in the house if you get hungry."

I walked away with "It's a Small World After All" cranked up really loud in my mind.

9 comments:

Ruth said...

Beautiful. :-)

Paul C said...

Be encouraged.

In 2005, I moved my family (wife and 2 daughters) to the absolute bush in - guess where - Kenya! We planned to plant a church there and couldn't see too far into the future.

Sold the house and a lot of our stuff. There was lots of uncertainty and the gravity of the move didn't hit my wife until she looked out the window of the plane to behold the wide expanse of the Sahara Desert. That was impactful!

But God kept us and cared for us through the entire time, despite close calls here and there. We started with just one young man but slowly, over time, more people came and heard the gospel - many for the first time.

I've also been to Haiti before. It's a tough place, but may the God of Heaven, the Lord of Hosts, go with you and your family.

God bless you all.

Bob & Judy said...

"It's A Small World" is not working for me right now, my girl.

Ursula said...

This is the most honest, relatable, touching descriptions of missions I've ever heard and does so much to the excuses in my brain about why I wouldn't/couldn't go.

Welcome...Please Come In...Grab a Chair... said...

Oh sweet Heather... I love you.

And just like my momma has prayed for your little Hayden...

We are still praying for y'all now.

The Lord gives and He takes away.

But He is not a thief.

Your Sweet Jesus,
the Lover of your soul...
will provide EVERYTHING you and your family need, even if it is a couple of words from some man from Kenya.

Sweet Heather the Lord uses you. He has used you here, and now He will use you there.

I know in my life He has used you to write to me a beautiful email that did away with fear.

Oh...fear how it grips our soul.

Your email rebuked fear out of my life. The Lord used your email to provide the confidence that I needed in my moment of DOUBT to make the second BEST decision of my life. Now sweet sister I will stand and fight against fear in your life and in your hubby's life and in your babies life. I will pray for unity, for strength, and for grace, and mercy, and for provision.

The Summers said...

wow! I love that....what encouragement for us all. I have been following your blog for a few weeks now...we know of you through the Catoes. Praying for you family. {radical series and literally obeying Jesus and scriptures....is wrecking our lives as well}

Susan, wife of 1, mother of 4 said...

Heather, you are an AWESOME writer! I continue to pray for you and your family. I really think you have a book in you somewhere...at some time in your life. Look at all the prayer warriers you have cultivated by sharing your honest feelings on-line. Jesus is SOOOOO good. I can't wait to read this book!

MeldaET said...

I love how God is totally awesome cool like that.......and I hope tomorrow I see something in my coffee, cause I never thought about that, but it would be ROCKING cool too!

TheLudlows said...

Thanks Heather. I needed that today. As I wallow in my new house upset that things are still in not perfect order- How shallow of me and how much I needed to hear that particular truth.