Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Not a Baby
I've been tired for months now. Like "I have a newborn tired" or "I'm pregnant tired."
The problem is, I don't have a newborn, and I'm not pregnant.
No matter what I do, no matter how much rest I get, I'm still tired.
Exercise makes me feel worse. Usually exercise makes me feel great (well, not in the moment, but later I feel terrific). I've still be doing The Shred, because I'm really seeing results, but after I'm done I have seriously found myself, several times, wondering why humans don't get to hibernate. Bottom line, exercising makes me jealous of bears.
I've had no energy.
I kept blaming these symptoms on some hard things going on with homeschooling, relationships...you all know...things have been pretty "off" in lots of areas in my life lately.
I also quit drinking caffeine. I was highly addicted. So I kept thinking that maybe I was tired all the time because I was still in withdrawals from the lack of coffee. Then it dawned on me that I quit caffeine back in August. Surely no one on earth is that addicted to caffeine that they can't function for six months after they quit the stuff. (I still drink decaf, have no fear.)
I finally decided to go to the doctor. I mean seriously, when you want to climb into your baby's bed with him for his morning nap, there's probably something wrong with you.
Especially if you are getting plenty of rest, eating pretty healthy (minus the blue bell ice cream) and exercising several times a week (because of all that blue bell). No joke...I was doing all that healthy stuff, not because I'm Mrs. perfect, but because I felt awful and knew those things were supposed to make me feel better.
At the doctor's office they handed me the "what's up with you paper." I wrote, "I'm here because I probably have cancer."
I mean really, what else could it be? What else could anything be if you're me?
The peeps at Abundant Life Family Practice are used to my fear of cancer.
When I saw Dr. Bacak I told him I didn't really know what all my symptoms were, but I'm just tired of feeling like crap.
He said I could either be anemic, have chronic mono, or have a thyroid issue...or none of those things.
No one in my family has a thyroid issue (that I know of) but I think the desire for a thyroid issue is pretty universal.
Who doesn't want to eat Cheetos all day, take a pill and be skinny?
I had my fingers crossed, "Thyroid..thyroid...please let it be the thyroid."
I was imagining all the chocolate I was going to eat while wearing tiny jeans.
I don't have a thyroid issue though. I'm never that lucky...what was I thinking?
I am anemic and I DO have mono. Like the real mono, not the chronic kind. I have the mono that girls who need more adult supervision in high school get. Awesome.
I always wanted mono in high school. Then I could stay home from school and sleep for a month and people would think I had a boyfriend. As a mother of four kids, mono is not nearly as cool.
This whole time I thought I was tired because I have four crazy kids and a very full life.
I guess the kind of tired where your eyes start burning at 10 a.m. is probably a little over the top though.
I've felt like a big baby lately. All I want to do is sit on the couch. That's so not like me. Naturally, I'm more like a squirrel...or a bouncy ball. I have whatever sin issue is the antonym for laziness. But I've been so tired lately that I've even flaked out in my thoughts, not just in my actions. I'm too tired to even think about all the things I'm not going to end up doing. Now that's tired.
Today I start taking iron and naps.
This might be the second best thing to a thyroid issue.
I am getting me a t-shirt made that says, "I'm not a baby. I have mono."
Although having real live stuff wrong with me kind of stinks, it's also great to know I wasn't losing what's left of my mind. It's good to know that no matter how hard I tried, there was a reason things were not getting better. Praise God for pills and prescribed napping. Even better...praise God my worth is wrapped up in Christ, not in a clean house or all the other 900 things I enjoy doing that have been left undone lately. That's humbling, but oh so good for me.
Posted by Hendrick Family