Friday, January 08, 2010


He only threw up once.

It wasn't a virus.

So I guess I poisoned him.

He may never eat pork loin again.

When you have a large family as soon as one person yacks, this feeling of absolute doom hits you.

"It's coming. We're all getting this."

No matter if you immediately implement a quarantine...stomach bugs are more powerful than closed doors.

I think my kids sneak into the "off limits" areas and lick each other.

These boys would throw up all day every day if that meant they could play video games and watch TV, one of the only luxuries of having a stomach virus around here.

No matter how hard I try to contain "the crud" in this house, people usually start dropping like flies and making messes that make me cry while cleaning them.

After the "doom" sets in and the quarantine is set up I immediately begin thinking of what I can eat, and what I can feed the non-sick children that won't be so bad coming back up.

Not salad. That's the worst.

Not a milk shake. Death seems like a better option than revisiting a milkshake.

I have learned from many stomach viruses and terrible pregnancies* that the following foods should be eaten if you think you're going to have to see them again real soon:

Pickles. They taste exactly like pickles the second time.

A package of Certs. Do they make those anymore? Really...if you can eat a whole package of Certs before you throw up, it makes the whole horrific process kind of nice, if that's possible.

A smoothie from the place in the mall. Makes throwing up borderline delightful.

Any others?

*I don't talk about the five months of throwing up (several times a day) very much. I don't want to scare young women out of having babies.


lisasmith said...

drink lots of water so it's not as,hmmm, hard to throw up. that's my advice clear liquids make less mess in your mouth coming up. I think I qualify as a throw up expert after the last decade of pregnancies.

Hendrick Family said...

Lisa! My puking pregnancy friend!!

Not many people have any idea what it's like to throw up for five straight months.


Heather Diaz said...

In my experience (three pregnancies and a ton of flu bugs), strawberry fig newtons and ginger ale. It was the most pleasant throwing up experience I ever had:)

the groves said...

Cody would like to add Sushi ranking high up there in the almost death category!

Sadly, I will never get to be quite as excited as I once was about it. Maybe one day. :)

Ricci said...

I did not enjoy throwing up water. I got the death virus a few months ago and water was gross because it was exactly that... water.

The worst is definitely any kind of green veggie or food. Puke is nasty. Green puke is from Satan.

The only thing I've ever tolerated puking was oatmeal. I guess it's thick enough that it keeps all that acid from giving me a flaming esophagus afterward.

Anonymous said...

sweet tea is great when you're throwing up....tastes exactly the same coming up as it did going down!!!

the lewisi female said...

I found during pregnancy that cinnamon bagels were okay and was almost good coming back up...

LD said...

This is a disgusting conversation that I feel compelled to join. I think the two worst things I've ever thrown up were macaroni and cheese (only because I was laying down when it happened and I ended up with pasta in my nose) and a BBQ baked potato, which just happened last night! Gross!

On the flip side, one time I threw up blue gatorade and it was still blue... that was kind of impressive.

Hendrick Family said...

Ha Lauren!

I am surprised that this did not turn into a male conversation.

Way to be gross, ladies!


MacKenzie said...

I too had a bad start to my pregnancies although now that I'm at 4.5 months I've had a few good weeks lately so I can't compete with your 5 month record.

I found that throwing up anything that is artificially red (gatorade, popsicles, etc) is particularly bad. Not because of taste but because I would have sometimes forgotten that I had eaten it and begin to panic that I was throwing up blood.

Rachel said...

Apples! I loved throwing them up during both my pregnancies. With Josiah, I liked eating and puking cinnamon swirl bread, but it was too dry to try and eat when I was pregnant with Annalise. Apples are the trick. They are moist and cold and sweet, both times they pass through your mouth.

I threw up with Annalise until the day before she was born. That sucked! The multiple times a day puking stopped around 18 weeks with both kids, but the morning sickness lasts much, much longer.

The Kramer Family said...

the worst thing to throw up is bread or crackers. i never understood why people eat those when they are throwing up. they tend to get "stuck" on the way out. i felt like i was going to die.

peanut butter is pretty brutal too! falls right in there in the "getting stuck" category.