Thursday, September 03, 2009
A Beard with Breasts
I've heard rumor for months now that there is this man/lady floating around college station.
People spot him.
They tell me about it.
I say, "Dang it. Why can't I ever see this person?"
What's so fascinating about this particular she-male?
This guy is an OLD man. Old. Really old.
There is nothing female about his face.
He has a long ZZ top beard.
He has big, voluptuous bosoms, and he wears WAY low cut shirts to show them off.
You read that right.
There is an OLD man in our town who has a beard, wears man clothes and yet has HUGE breast implants that he shows off with horribly low cut shirts.
What a jewel.
I've always wanted to see this man in person, but was beginning to wonder if he was sort of like Big Foot, or the Loch Ness Monster, or World's Most Perfect Mother.
Does he really exist?
He's been spotted at T.J. Max and the baking aisle of HEB.
After encountering him, Ashley Garratt and Mindi Woods were both scarred for life. "My eyes...my eyes....just poke out my eyes!"
I'm sure it would be a hard thing to process in one moment without any warning.
Why haven't I seen this guy? Why?
Oh Marvelous Day...Ashley Garratt just called me to tell me there's a picture of him on the internet.
Ashley heard on the radio there's a website called People of Wal-Mart.
The language on the site is pretty rough, but if you're a Wal-Mart hater, then you can start with the first picture on the site, declare it "Exhibit A" and then move on to the next picture and declare it "Exhibit B" and so on and so on.
I'm sure some people who are way more godly than I am could tell us all the reasons why we shouldn't be fascinated with an old man with an impressive chest and those comments are welcome...but for now, I don't know what to do with this.
I've only gotten as far as..."Really? I mean...Really? Why?"
Here's the best part....
The old man who stole Pamela Anderson's chest is on the People of Wal-Mart site! See? * See the bosoms?
Let's pray I don't ever run into him.
I don't think I have enough self control to not engage him in a conversation and that conversation not start off exactly like this...
"Um...so....what cha got goin' on here?"
I would pay a lot of money...like full price for a week's worth of groceries to sit down and ask this man some questions.
* Ryan said the link isn't working. It did that earlier this morning. I think the People of Wal-Mart page may not be able to handle the traffic? This site was on the radio this morning, so maybe that's why it's a little overwhelmed. Check back later. It's definitely worth the look!
Posted by Hendrick Family