Saturday, July 18, 2009
I vaguely remember seeing the mothers
standing in the foyer of church
surrounded by suitcases filled with snacks, outfits and sunscreen.
bouncing like little Tiggers
eager to start their adventure
Barely noticed them
because I was chasing around a toddler
who was crawling over the suitcases
begging for snacks
and trying to eat the sunscreen.
It never dawned on me that my toddler
would grow up
turn into a bouncy T-I-double "gu" "er"
and need a suitcase of his own
filled with rice krispy treats, outfits and spf 30.
"It will be forever before my baby goes to camp."
Forever passed in what felt like four days
There I stood, in the church foyer
how on earth I became one of "those" mothers
with a child old enough to go off for four days.
It's not an urban legend.
The babies you are holding
I remember when Anson was only 11 days old.
I was nursing him, and Aaron came in the room.
I was crying.
Tears running all down my face.
Aaron quickly came to me and asked what was the matter.
Through sobs, I said...
"He's 11 days old, Aaron."
Aaron was confused, but was trying to play along.
"Okay...you're right. He is."
I tried to explain...
"I love him so much, but today he is 11 days old, and in a few years, he'll be ten, and then he'll be 18, and then he will leave."
full throttle crying at this point
Aaron was so sweet...
"Yes. He will turn 10. He will turn 18. He will leave. But today, he's 11 days old."
I pulled the crying back down into first...okay, maybe second.
The night before Anson left for camp, I told Aaron this was so hard to do. I wanted Anson to go. I know he's going to have such a great time. But, it's hard to think of him leaving.
"What's the hardest part about Anson going," Aaron said.
"I'm going to miss so many of his moments."
Funny how, it's these little things, like sending a kid off to camp for a few days, that can make you sit and think big, Hagrid-sized thoughts.
Since Anson has been gone this week thoughts like these have lounged around in my head...
If the next 10 years go as quickly as the first 10, it really will seem like tomorrow and he'll be in college, or getting married.
Is he ready?
Lord, are we teaching him enough...about the things that really matter?
Am I cherishing the moments I still have the privilege to see as much I should be cherishing them?
Do I see the days he's here, at home with us, as valuable as they truly are?
Although I hope he has a great time at camp, at college, as a married man...will there be things about home that he looks back on and feels good...content...satisfied and thankful?
Are we making memories and marks on him that he will always want to keep with him, packed deep in his soul?
I pray camp has been good for Anson's heart...but it's also been good for mine.
I'm glad I want him to have a great time, to have new experiences, and do "older boy" things.
That's probably healthy.
But I'm also glad I genuinely miss him, and have been reminded how much I like him, enjoy him, and notice when he's not here. He is so helpful around here.
That's probably healthy too.
Camp is a great reminder that babies get bigger, and that our days with them are numbered. It makes ordinary days sparkle a little more...you know...like treasure.
Posted by Hendrick Family