Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Smoothie Queen

For a few months now, I have been drinking a smoothie every morning.

I started this tradition because I realized, I don't really eat very much fruit.

I like fruit.

I just don't eat it.

I know I don't eat fruit because I'm a lazy eater.

I didn't use to be a lazy eater, but add four kids to your life, and you quickly realize that feeding them all day takes a lot of work. Kids eat three meals, plus about three thousand snacks a day. I cook dinner every night. Food and feeding people can quickly consume a mom's life. So, my own personal food needs to be EASY and quick during the day.

Fruit takes work.

You have to wash it.

Peel it.

Cut it.

Maybe use a bowl.

You can't change your mind half way into it...once you commit to eating a piece of fruit, you have to be fully invested.

You probably have to wash your hands when you're done because fruit is sticky.

I get tired just thinking about eating fruit.

I'm also a multi-tasker.

RARELY am I ever just doing one thing.

I thrive on multi-tasking.

It's like a secret ongoing game I play.

I love quick foods you can eat while walking around.

This is why most fruit just doesn't work for me.

I'd rather grab a string cheese and be done with it.

So, the smoothie seemed like the perfect way to solve my fruit eating problem.

As a matter of fact, I love smoothies so much that I asked Aaron this question...

"Do you think it's wrong that I wish I could walk around drinking all my food out of a straw? I mean, these smoothies make other food seem so annoying."

He said it is wrong to drink all my food out of jars...that sometimes I need to eat food on a plate like normal people.

That's why I love Aaron. He knows what's normal. He's like a walking Family Feud. I can ask him a question, to see if that's how normal people think, and Aaron replies, "Survey Says...no, most people do not look at a crowd of people and then immediately sort them into color families based upon the shade of shirt they are wearing."

Just the thought of drinking a smoothie makes me feel so cool, healthy, hip and hippy-ish.

In the mornings, I pretend like I'm a quirky, vegetarian, organic lady who has a tattoo and does yoga.

By lunchtime, I'm back to my uncool, meat eating, non-tattoo, running self...but in my mind...in the mornings...I'm eclectic.

I wake up in the morning and drink a cup of coffee.

I'm not ready for my hippy drink until between 10-11.

That's because when I say I drink a cup of coffee, I mean I drink a bowl of coffee.

It's loaded with sugar and creamer.

I'm a slow coffee drinker. My one bowl of coffee sits with me as I read my Bible. It comes along as I get the boys started on school. It sits on the bathroom counter, watching me get ready for the day.

At around 10:30 every morning, I need a new beverage friend.

To make my smoothie, I put some ice in the blender (your blender has to have the ice crush option). Then, I add 1 and a half frozen bananas. My smoothies are always heavy on the banana because bananas are cheap. Other frozen fruit...not so much. Stores are really proud of their frozen fruit. I love that the fruit is frozen. I feel like I used to waste a lot of money on produce that went bad before we ate it. Now, I come home and immediately peel all the bananas and put them in a ziplock bag in the freezer. The kids LOVE to eat frozen bananas. They are like sweet, creamy Popsicles. All of our fruit gets used now, since it doesn't go bad. I love that.

I add a large handful of other frozen fruit. I love pineapple, raspberries, mango and strawberries.

2-3 large spoons of light yogurt (I buy it in the big containers)

Then I pour orange juice (with calcium) on top of all that yummy stuff.

Then, I add orange flavored, powdered fiber.


That's because I have poo issues.

Well, I should say...I did have them.

Yes...I'm really telling you this.

For my whole life, I've had poo problems.

If you have them, you know...poo problems hardly warrant their own talk show, magazine article, celebrity spokesperson, charity fun run, or colorful ribbons, but poo issues are annoying. Who would want to wear a brown ribbon anyway?

I love my doctor, but I would never talk to him about this. No way.

And he's totally onto my hypotheticals.

Now, when I say to Dr. Bacak, "My friend has this problem..."

He says, "My friend? Are we talking about you?"


Prior to morning smoothies, I was a poo camel.

Not anymore.

I'm completely, 100% fixed in that department.


The best news is, this monster mason jar of yum takes me a long time to finish.

Once I am finished, I am full.

I don't want to eat anything else until around one or two in the afternoon.

Then, I eat a light lunch, because it's almost dinner time.

Which means, this smoothie is not only delicious, poo-inducing, healthy and hippyish...it's also made me lose a few pounds.

Hooray for smoothies!


Vashti said...

I love smoothies so much that I bought a smoothy blender with a tap on the bottom so you can fill your glass as soon as you are done without taking the blender apart!!!
Lazy...I know! And a bugger to clean out, so in the long run probably a waste of money!

I love that you drink it out of a jar!

Mary Sanders said...

OMG Heather you are hilarious! I can't believe you just said all this! I am laughing so hard. But thanks for the awesome answer to eating fruit. I love smoothies but I didn't know how to make them. I would go buy one every now and then, but that gets expensive.

MacKenzie said...

My smoothies are similar to yours except lately I've started making them green by adding a cup or so of spinach! I know, it sounds gross but if it is thoroughly mixed in, you can't even taste it..and you will definitely feel like a crazy cool hippy when you drink it.

I don't know if your boys would go for it though, my husband took some convincing and he will eat anything. Once he tried them he agree that they are just as good, it's just getting them to try - perhaps you could just call them snot smoothies or something gross that boys like.

Hendrick Family said...

I will try that!

The Uptons said...

Ohhh, we have never tried spinach in our smoothie, but maybe we will next time we make it. You can also add avocado(a great healthy fat) and you can't taste it at all. A whole one with a bunch of blueberries and it doesn't even change the color. Just comes out purple. We also add flax seed if we have it and, if we use our chocolate Juice Plus powder, we throw in peanut butter for extra protein.

Sherman said...

I guess, by implication, Rachel and I are eclectic, cool, trendy hippies ;-)

Well, maybe we are.

You should try juicing carrots and spinach in the mornings. And other veggies and fruits! It is so good, and way better than the cooked stuff you buy at the store!

Hendrick Family said...

Uh...YES...you and Rachel ARE the coolest hippies I know.

I am you in the mornings.

Then me the rest of the day.


The Duty's said...

I'm sorry but I've tried the spinach thing and you can totally taste it! I thought it was disgusting. But, that's just me... Maybe if you have one of those high tech, commercial like juicers it would be more blended in, but in my blender, it just doesn't taste right.

But, I do love a good smoothie.

Bob & Judy said...

Smoothies for breakfast - our one real, consistent diet change. We lost weight and feel better, and we always feel like breakfast is a TREAT!

Flax seed and protein powder go in ours. Poppi sometimes adds peanut butter because it seems to keep him from getting hungry for longer.

Brandi said...

I was going to say the same thing about the green smoothies. My morning routine is frozen strawberries, a banana, yogurt, OJ, and a few leaves of kale or collard greens. I actually like it better with greens; it feels a little lighter, not so ice-creamy. Or spinach lemonade is good too. Regular lemonade in the blender with spinach. It's awesome! And I'm not a hippy either.

Ricci said...

1 scoop low-fat chocolate ice cream
1 tablespoon chocolate syrup
1/2 cup low-fat milk
1 tablespoon whey protein powder
1/2 banana
3 ice cubes

I'm sure you can sub your fiber powder for whey but you may want to get non-orange. (Although... chocolate oranges are fabulous!) Now, you can have breakfast and a snack in a cup with a straw.

My mom makes this on her Ab's Diet (sounds intense, I know) and it's really tasty!

bekah said...

I LOVE smoothies. And I feel like a hippie every time I drink one.

Kelly and I go to Jamba Juice so often they we know ALL the workers by name and they know us and what we do. Its like a jamba juice ministry!

This summer we plan on creating a different smoothie everyday.

I used to love the sugar-y smoothies, but now I like fruit, yogurt, soymilk and granola, and then some kind of powdered protein like soy or whey.

Secret: If you add a little protein to your fruit it will hold you MUCH longer than just eating fruit. Protein makes your carbs break down slower.


hodgesgal said...

LOL I do smoothies too... I do them with protein like some others said,

But I read this AFTER I ate an orange while trying to multi task. It was a mess! I had peel everywhere, juice everywhere, the whole place smelled and it was all around a disaster. next time I want a healthy snack, I won't be grabbing an orange... I'll make a smoothie and be hip like Heather!

Lerin said...

Heather, I seriously love you.

I drink a smoothie every morning(ish) as well... only with a whole container of yogurt, blueberries, bananas,and apple juice. The claciumand potassium help this prego girl get calcium and potassium to avoid leg cramps. And fiber is good for pregos too.

And yes, it is SOOOOO much more convenient to carry my cup of breakfast/lunch around instead of having to sit down somewhere. Who with more than 2 kids can ever sit?

the groves said...

What kind of blender do you have because I try to make them...and I even got a new blender and it still stinks! I get so frustrated pouring everything in and then it won't mix.

Too bad I threw away the box...Cody just gave it to me for my birthday...and I can't return it!

ps. you are the only person I know that could write a blog that long about smoothies and have 14 comments later that day!

Jennifer Bacak said...

I really didn't think you were going to go there with the poo. I thought that was one of those conversations we just have in your kitchen, but I was wrong.
People at the Creative Writing class on fridays ask me about my beautiful smoothie in the giant jar, and I tell them "Not all these kids are mine. My friend pays me in smoothies to bring her kids. It's the perfect arrangement." It truly is. Especially since my primary love language is food.
I feel loved when you make me a smoothie!!!
Without the fiber.

Kim said...

mmm i love smoothies! i made them every day for about a week then i forgot...but my typical one was frozen blueberries and banana with a little bit of yogurt and juice.

and ricci...stop tempting me with icecream and chocolate syrup. i'll choose that over fruit anyday.

actually you can tempt me... just bring some to HOPE group tomorrow : )

Hendrick Family said...


I've had my blender since I got married...that is OLD!

Just make sure there is plenty of liquid. If I don't have enough juice in mine, it sticks.

And yes, Jenn...

I was very close to leaving out the poo part.

Maybe more things SHOULD stay in my kitchen, huh?

But then I started thinking that maybe there are other camel poo people out there secretly struggling.

Maybe this will free them up.



Molly said...

I just spent entirely too long reading all of these comments and am amazed that maybe I am the only one who has not really gotten into smoothies!

I need to try, with 3 little ones I totally understand the need for better nutrition! I was just thinking about it today.

You and I have the same coffee habits...love me some cream and sweetner!

I could stand to lose a couple lbs and I am awful at eating fruit!

I still can't figure out what camel poo is but it sure made me laugh.

I love you girl...thanks for this, I needed a laugh today!

mandi said...

hey- i'm one of those hippy mamas that eats a smoothie a day too! but let me tell you a secret- you haven't enjoyed it in it's fullest until you've added greens to it. really. its good. i promise. and would a complete stranger lie to you? probably not...

especially not on the internet.

here's what i suggest: start with something mild. like baby spinach. add a few handfuls to your smoothie. first of all you won't even taste it. second, it makes your smoothie green. me and my kids eat this daily. except on the days i add kale. then it's purple...

Hendrick Family said...

I feel like I've entered a whole new world of smoothie magic.

I can't wait to turn my smoothie all sorts of crazy colors!


Hendrick Family said...

Oh...and I don't even know what kale is.

I'll look it up on swagbucks.

Maybe it's one of those things at HEB I look at and daydream that I know what it is...and what to do with it.

I want to be that person.


Connie said...

I didn't read all of the comments so sorry if this is a repeat.

I am not a breakfast eater b/c I like the fried egg, bacon, and pancakes deal and that's just not going to happen.

I love smoothies too...very filling and easy easy.

When I was working out (I just laughed b/c it's been so long) I had to up the calorie intake so I added dry quick cook oatmeal.

I know..sounds nasty. It does change the texture a bit but you could start with a couple of tablespoons and see what you think.

You might hate it so I suggest blend your normal amount of smoothie...pour most of it into your cup...add a teaspoon of oatmeal to the rest in the blender and blend it up really good..see what you think.

The Kramer Family said...

This is seriously a lot of comments about smoothies!

Smoothies are amazing. I'm glad to see my friend from Brenham, Mandi, comment on here. I can vouch for her hippy-ness. She is the ultimate and I love her dearly for it!

If you really want to be a hippy, add some raw milk to it. That will really help the poo problems. I double dog dare ya!

Love you!

Charlie said...

Okay, I didn't read through ALL 22 of these comments, so someone may have already told you this but I wanted to tell you that we add flaxseed ("Swagbucks" the benefits of flaxseed) and kefir (instead of yogurt) to ours. You'll really be a hippie if you start using kefir.

Charlie had poo issues, too. Until we started drinking smoothies regularly about a year ago!

Kefir can be expensive, but you can make your own for super cheap by buying that packets at Brazos Natural Food. I'll tell you how later!

Jenny C. said...

The brown ribbon is classic!

Dallas said...

Great post. I'm a friend of Meg Asby and saw your link on her blog. Really: loved it. :)