Sunday, February 15, 2009

I got bangs!


I did!

I was scared.

But I got over it...

and bought bangs.

They are swoopy side bangs.

I love them.

I haven't had bangs in decades.

And just in case there is any confusion...when I say I got bangs, I mean the things that go on your forehead...not a disease.

When I was in 10th grade, I moved from the gigantic city of Deer Park to the tiny town of Madisonville.

Talk about a change.

Although I loved my new home, there were many, many incidents that happened that now, are quite funny, involving this city girl's lack of knowledge about small town life.

Let's just say that when I hear the Bible talk about how we should be aliens and strangers in this world, I always think back to when I first arrived in Madisonville. I definitely felt like an alien there for the first six months.

Some time after Heather "the new girl" showed up in Madisonville, my friend, Corrie asked me and some of our other friends over for dinner.

She lived on a big ranch.

They had cows in their yard.

But it's not called a yard in Madisonville.

It's called a pasture.

Don't call it a yard...don't even call it a really big yard. People laugh.

Cows in your yard...I mean, pasture was normal there, but very weird to me.

I had never known people who had cows at their house.

This friend's family sat around their huge table...all the students sat around the table...and of course we were all talking.

Someone mentioned something about someone else having to kill a bunch of their cows.

"Why did they have to do that?" I asked.

I was from the city, remember, and I prefered to think that meat just magically showed up at the grocery store. I had never really had to think about how it got there in real life.

I hated that someone killed animals, even though I was sitting there, I'm sure, enjoying my plate of meat in front of me.

I'm telling you, I was a city girl to the "t."

"They had bangs," someone answered.

The whole table just nodded their heads, totally understanding what that meant...and then went on to talk about something else. I was appauled. One minute I was eating dinner with kind country folks. The next moment, I was in the presence of heartless moo cow murderers who thought it was perfectly fine to "off" your cows just because of their hairdo.

Sorry.

I was stuck right here at the "kill cows with bangs" part of the conversation and hardly remember the rest of the evening.

I didn't know if I was going to be able to stay in a town with a bunch of hair racists.

I just sat there silently, and as everyone else ate and talked, I sort of went into my own head. I was staring out the window at the Vick's house at all their cattle roaming around. As the cows were eating grass, I began to imagine all of them growing bangs.

I was so sad that someone killed them just because they grew bangs.

So rude.

I kept thinking, "Gosh...I'd eat a cow that had bangs...I bet they are cuter."

I stared at a cow outside, imaginged it with bangs and decided I was right. Bangs would make cows way cuter. Bangs would sort of draw attention away from the cow's really slobbery mouth that never quit moving. I imagined starting a cow salon, slowly convincing all the cows in all the small towns to get bangs.

I could start a bangs refuge for cows who grew them. I would stop the senseless killing of entire herds of cows with framed foreheads.

Later, I got up the courage to ask Corrie, in private why people kill cows just because they grow bangs.

She laughed at me.

Come to find out, the cows did not grow bangs (as cute as that would be). They had a disease that's called "bangs."

That's how it went when I moved to Madisonville.

I'd hear something super weird. I'd ask a question. I was WAY OFF. People would laugh.

Even though I had only moved two hours away from Houston, you would have thought, in some ways, I had moved to another planet.

I'd go back to that planet tomorrow though, if there was a way for us to do it!

Gotta go look at my bangs!

I can't quit messing with them!

They are so adorably swoopy.

13 comments:

hodgesgal said...

post a picture so we can see!

missy said...

I live in Madisonville and also moved from the city. Didn't know what Bangs was either but learned quickly - loved your story. I laughed through the whole thing!

Hendrick Family said...

Elizabeth...

I'll post a picture soon.

And Missy...

I'm so glad someone's been the new girl/city girl too.

I remember VIVIDLY my first experience with a "tank", the county fair...riding a horse...Fraleys...fun times!

Heather

the little one weezes... said...

heather,

your train of thought is really great. i am laughing inside thinking of cows with bangs. i agree they would be adorable and maybe more approachable. (cows scare me a little).

jordan

ps. i think you know this but danny and i move into yall's old old house on Inwood this friday. :)

IE Mommy Blogger said...

Oh my word! That was hilarious! I loved it...sounds like something I would say, do or think! Thanks for the chuckle. Can't wait to see your haircut!

LD said...

Seriously? No picture? I read through that whole post fully expecting a picture of your new adorable swoopy bangs at the bottom and what do I get? Nothing. Terrible!

The Kramer Family said...

why is there not a picture with this post???? i skipped the story initially just to scroll down and take a peek.

I can totally relate to being a city girl living in the country!

Love ya!

Tammy said...

Heather, I am DYING right now from laughter!!! I was one of those "country girls" at that party, and I NEVER even THOUGHT about how that conversation would have sounded around someone not raised around cattle!!!! So sorry for being part of the crew that tormented you (although not on purpose). ;)

Take care,
Tammy (Wiseman) Reid

BTW, you do need to post a pic of you and your new bangs....(the hairstyle, not the disease!) ;)

Kirby said...

i ADORE your bangs.

i'm setting up an appt. with her before Lyns takes our family pics!

BrunerAbroad said...

I grew up in Dallas but we spent all our weekends in Mineola (who's ever heard of Mineola??). I was scared of the cows so my dad stopped taking me to the farm. As a result, I missed out on a lot of stuff like "bangs" as well and was often the confused one at family events.

Post a picture of your bangs! I bet they're adorable!

the little one weezes... said...

Yes, you all can come over! Anytime! Just let me know!

Anonymous said...

STILL waiting for the picture of your bangs!!

Deb

pbmciver said...

How hilarious!

I am from a small town (the opposite) but I know what you mean about "tanks". When I first heard my FIL mention swimming in tanks I pictured a big humongous metal round thing and wondered to myself how he got in and out of it. Back in Louisiana we call tanks "ponds", lol.