I was scared.
But I got over it...
and bought bangs.
They are swoopy side bangs.
I love them.
I haven't had bangs in decades.
And just in case there is any confusion...when I say I got bangs, I mean the things that go on your forehead...not a disease.
When I was in 10th grade, I moved from the gigantic city of Deer Park to the tiny town of Madisonville.
Talk about a change.
Although I loved my new home, there were many, many incidents that happened that now, are quite funny, involving this city girl's lack of knowledge about small town life.
Let's just say that when I hear the Bible talk about how we should be aliens and strangers in this world, I always think back to when I first arrived in Madisonville. I definitely felt like an alien there for the first six months.
Some time after Heather "the new girl" showed up in Madisonville, my friend, Corrie asked me and some of our other friends over for dinner.
She lived on a big ranch.
They had cows in their yard.
But it's not called a yard in Madisonville.
It's called a pasture.
Don't call it a yard...don't even call it a really big yard. People laugh.
Cows in your yard...I mean, pasture was normal there, but very weird to me.
I had never known people who had cows at their house.
This friend's family sat around their huge table...all the students sat around the table...and of course we were all talking.
Someone mentioned something about someone else having to kill a bunch of their cows.
"Why did they have to do that?" I asked.
I was from the city, remember, and I prefered to think that meat just magically showed up at the grocery store. I had never really had to think about how it got there in real life.
I hated that someone killed animals, even though I was sitting there, I'm sure, enjoying my plate of meat in front of me.
I'm telling you, I was a city girl to the "t."
"They had bangs," someone answered.
The whole table just nodded their heads, totally understanding what that meant...and then went on to talk about something else. I was appauled. One minute I was eating dinner with kind country folks. The next moment, I was in the presence of heartless moo cow murderers who thought it was perfectly fine to "off" your cows just because of their hairdo.
I was stuck right here at the "kill cows with bangs" part of the conversation and hardly remember the rest of the evening.
I didn't know if I was going to be able to stay in a town with a bunch of hair racists.
I just sat there silently, and as everyone else ate and talked, I sort of went into my own head. I was staring out the window at the Vick's house at all their cattle roaming around. As the cows were eating grass, I began to imagine all of them growing bangs.
I was so sad that someone killed them just because they grew bangs.
I kept thinking, "Gosh...I'd eat a cow that had bangs...I bet they are cuter."
I stared at a cow outside, imaginged it with bangs and decided I was right. Bangs would make cows way cuter. Bangs would sort of draw attention away from the cow's really slobbery mouth that never quit moving. I imagined starting a cow salon, slowly convincing all the cows in all the small towns to get bangs.
I could start a bangs refuge for cows who grew them. I would stop the senseless killing of entire herds of cows with framed foreheads.
Later, I got up the courage to ask Corrie, in private why people kill cows just because they grow bangs.
She laughed at me.
Come to find out, the cows did not grow bangs (as cute as that would be). They had a disease that's called "bangs."
That's how it went when I moved to Madisonville.
I'd hear something super weird. I'd ask a question. I was WAY OFF. People would laugh.
Even though I had only moved two hours away from Houston, you would have thought, in some ways, I had moved to another planet.
I'd go back to that planet tomorrow though, if there was a way for us to do it!
Gotta go look at my bangs!
I can't quit messing with them!
They are so adorably swoopy.