Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Two Heads Are Better than One


At lunch yesterday, I heard Hayden saying...

"Two heads are better than one."

He said it about 5 times, before he turned around to me and said...

"Mom...two heads are better than one."

I said..."Yep. Do you know what that means?"

He sighed, and acted like I was silly for even asking him this question.

Then he said, borderline sarcastically...

"Yes. It means, if you have two heads, you can look both ways before you cross the street...at the same time."

Oh, he makes me laugh.

How silly of me to even ask.

Of course he knows what that means.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Sniff, Sniff


Wow.

It's even worse than I thought.

I went to post this picture of my make-believe friends because this post is going to be all about how much I miss them...but when their picture popped up on the screen, my eyes watered up.

How pathetic and deranged is that?

I miss imaginary people.

I'm to the point of desperation.

I guess I was just living in denial last year.

But now it's hitting me.

My beloved friends, that I adore are really gone forever.

Oh...they will live on, in my memory and because I own every season of their made up lives...but...

Now I can't watch the show and figure out what is cool to wear these days.

They were my one stop spot for sensible, feminine, every day, you can wear it in the real world fashion.

I am grieving over them.

It's like, I really can't believe that life in Stars Hollow ended.

I'm afraid that life is still going on there, but no one is filming it.

If I knew where Stars Hollow was, I'd load up right now and go there.

I would go to Lukes and see him being mean, but cocky in an attractive sort of way.

Lorelai would be flirting with him, being sassy, cute and witty.

Rory would be saying something funny and so smart, I would have to go look it up.

Suki would be busy cooking something wonderful and asking Lorelai to taste it.

I want to move there and go to town meetings, make fun of all the people who go to Mrs. Patty's Dance Studio and avoid Kirk.

I miss Stars Hollow.

I need a new show.

One with friends.

One with friends, who I wish were my friends.

I won't go into it, but I do know that down deep, the root of my love affair with Gilmore Girls and Friends when they were on TV, is my profound need for community and connection.

Someone please tell me some new shows to watch!

Ones like Gilmore Girls.

I need funny friends to watch, who love each other, who wear cute clothes, and know how to accessorize.

I need a character to watch that I secretly think this about...

"If I knew this made up person in real life, we would be the best of friends. She would be in the delivery room when I have my babies and come to all my birthday lunches."

Am I the only one that does that?

Someone give me something new to watch!

And should we have a funeral or something for all the characters on Gilmore Girls?

Something official, so all of us in denial could have some closure?

When Ashton Misses D.O.


He draws a picture of him.

Writes his name in the corner.

Remembers to give D.O. facial hair.

Then brings the picture in the kitchen and says, in his precious, wee-tiny voice...

"I made D.O standing in the grass. See? (points to the D and the O in the corner) D.O. I like D.O. Momma, when is D.O. coming to our house?"

The thing in the sky, drawn in pencil is a space ship...in case anyone was wondering.

And our house is also in the grass...because D.O is coming to our house, Ashton says.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

We Only Serve Sweet Tea


Hayden asked for tea.

I got him some.

He almost threw up in the kitchen.

Really.

His eyes watered up, and he gagged.

After he could breathe again, he said, "You gave me brown, cold water!"

He was mad.

I laughed.

He was right.

I did give him brown, cold water.

Mike Garratt was here the other day working his rear off on my upstairs, so I made him some unsweet tea.

I forgot it was in there.

Ick!

Poor Hayden.

How do people drink unsweet tea*?

Unsweet tea is simply ruined water.

Speaking of water...

I read this on Liz's blog...(the whole list is so funny. I love the "to go" one and the opera one.)

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity:

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

I'm going to lunch with friends on Monday...and I'm going to do that.

I'm already laughing.

*another way to describe cold, brown water

Thursday, January 10, 2008

A Day in the Life of a...


Schizo.

I think I may possibly have Schizophrenia.

Remember how I said that I LOVED that white goo you use to sheet rock?

Well...I did.

Loved it.

Adored it.

At times, had sudden urges to taste it.

But come to find out....

After they ask you to rub white poo goo on the walls, they ask you to take sand paper and take it all back off again.

And the white poo goo dust...it goes EVERYWHERE.

Everywhere.

I feel like Pig Pen on Charlie Brown.

Now, two days later, the stuff I loved so much...

I despise to death.

White poo sand and me, the clean freak...do NOT go well together.

I don't mind the creative mess being upstairs...but now it's downstairs...and I am about to lose my mind.

Just when I wipe something down that's been attacked by white dust, more falls down in it's place.

It's like the white devil dust is just waiting...hovering...hanging out with the ceiling and only decides to fall down once I've gotten the floor or a piece of furniture clean.

Losing my mind.

That's what I'm doing.

It's like someone put flour in a dump truck, took my roof off and then dumped that load of flour into my house.

Imagine Monica from Friends being here...at my house....

Not good.

I can't stand mess.

Can't stand it.

If I see something messy...I clean it as though I'm on auto pilot.

There's mess everywhere, so I haven't stopped cleaning.

Why do I have to be such a clean weirdo?

I've used the restroom at friend's houses, walked out the door and realized, in my auto-pilot mode...I just cleaned their toilet or wiped down their counter top.

It's a sickness.

I also look in everyone's bathroom cabinets.

As long as I'm confessing things that go on in friend's bathrooms...I might as well come all the way clean.

I also did something, not very nice, with a shower curtain once because there wasn't any toilet paper.

Really.

But I'll never tell whose house I was at.

I will say, I only went number one.

I said I'm a CLEAN freak...NOT a germ freak.

What's Monica to do in a house filled with white dusty poo?

This might be the last straw needed to turn me into a real-live, too legit to quit, crazy person.

I can't believe I just outed myself about the shower curtain.

That's called, "Keepin' it real, yo."