Friday, December 12, 2008
When I can't sleep at night, sometimes it's because I'm anxious.
That's not good.
And so...I remember that I'm supposed to cast all my cares on Jesus (as in, throw them on Him) because He cares about me. I remember I can't worry, because Jesus says not to do that.
But sometimes, I can't sleep because my brain won't shut off.
It's not worrying. It's not anxious.
It is rearranging furniture, in my house...and in friend's houses.
It is picking new paint colors for me...and for you maybe.
It starts trying to remember all the words to stupid, weird songs like Baby's Got Back.
My brain walks me down the halls of old houses I lived in growing up. My brain makes me open all the cabinets in the bathrooms, remembering what was inside them.
Dippidy Do. Anyone remember that hair goo? It was on the second shelf in the right side of the white cabinet in my house on Marlene.
I'm sure I could pay someone a lot of money to tell me how weird it is.
Last night, while in my bed, looking at the insides of my eyelids, trying to drift off to sweet sleep, my brain was on a bike.
It was riding down my old streets in my old neighborhoods. It was trying to remember all the names and addresses of places where I used to live, and where my friends lived. It was trying to remember Mrs. Baty's house and all her snails. I rode past the twin's house, whose dad looked like the man on the movie, Clue. I rode through the ally between my house and Robin Black's house and wondered what she's doing now. I got lipstick on her Cabbage Patch doll's cloth arm. It never came out, and I never fessed up to it.
I finally fell asleep, but I woke up this morning wishing I could drive to Deer Park and see my old houses and my old neighborhoods. I woke up wishing I could drive there, all by myself, park my car on one of my old streets and then...ride my bike in all the same places I grew up riding my bike...that Baptist church...San Jacinto Elementary School...the hardly ever used baseball fields.
That would be so fun.
It would be odd, I'm sure. I would feel like I was in another world...not quite right, but pleasantly amused.
It would be like going back to your elementary school after a long absence.
It feels as fascinating and creepy as watching Alice in Wonderland.
Everything is the way you remember it, and yet nothing is.
It seems as if you have swallowed the little tart that says, "Eat me" because you're the wrong size...or maybe the toilets are...it's so hard to tell.
So this morning, I don't know what made me do it, but while my kids were busy at the table complaining about their copy work, I sat here, at this computer and google mapped my childhood neighborhoods.
I was expecting to see familiar street names...there were two I couldn't remember, so my brain would be made happy to have the holes of my neighborhood grid filled in completely.
I found something far more engaging.
Google has this feature called, "street view." It's incredible.
I could practically ride down my streets, turning and looking at all the old houses. I would go to my old houses, turn and stare at them...right there, in real, computer life on my screen. You can stand in the street and stare at your house without anyone honking, or the people who live in your old house calling the police.
Isn't that amazing?
So for those of you as old as I am...or older...you could go, right now and walk down memory lane...practically in real life.
You can stand in front of your old houses.
You can stand in front of your elementary school.
You can stand in front of your old church.
I've just had such a freaky, wonderful morning!
Posted by Hendrick Family