Monday, February 25, 2008

Soccer Update



Saturday, I had to take birth certificates to the soccer people so my boys could be officially signed up to play.

Aaron knew exactly where the birth certificates were.

Again people...who are we?

I'm running,

and Aaron knows where things are.

Talk about sanctification.

While standing in line with my official documents, one of the men receiving the birth certificates says to me...

"Would your husband like to coach soccer this year?"

I looked behind me.

There was no one behind me.

He was talking to me.

The me whose husband is Aaron.

Once this sunk in, I started laughing.

I said something like, "Well...no...my husband...he's a musician. We're not really athletic people. Really...you have no idea how big of a deal it is that I'm even standing here signing my sons up to PLAY soccer."

This man seemed unmoved.

So, I added...while trying not to snort..."I don't really know how much my husband knows about soccer."

The birth certificate man said, "He doesn't have to know much. He doesn't even need any experience to do this. We just need coaches."

I could not stop laughing or get out of that place fast enough.

Everyone was wearing wind pants.

The thick concentration of wind pants in such a small area of square footage made me feel weird.

And that many wind pants in one room is noisy.

I came home.

Aaron said, "How did it go signing the boys up for soccer?"

I had been waiting for him to ask me this question.

This was going to be He-sterical.

I had rehearsed it in my head. I knew exactly how this was going to go.

I said, "I took in the birth certificates...oh...and...they want to know if you will coach."

When I rehearsed this comedy scene in my head, right here was where I had written, in parenthesis...

(Aaron starts laughing. Then Heather starts laughing. They have a good laugh together.)

In real life...

no laughing

So I repeated myself.

He must not have heard me.

I said, "They wanted to know if you (I pointed to him for emphasis, just so we were very clear) want to coach soccer."

Again...ta-dah...laughter.

Nope.

No laughter.

All I could think was, "This man knows where stuff is. This man is NOT laughing about coaching soccer. This man is not Aaron. Maybe aliens are real."

That's when, my non-laughing, musical husband, dressed in his emergent church pastor shirt, wearing his coffee shop glasses and his new, grunge, "I read books written by dead people" shoes said words that took my breath away.

"Do they really need coaches?"

"Yes," I said and then thought, "But what does that have to do with anything?"

Aaron said, "I'll coach."

Huh?

I responded with a confused...

"You?"

I tried to make it sound like, "You?" as in "You" are so busy and have so much going on in your life. "You?" as in "You" are so great at playing the guitar, and doing so many other wowmazing things.

I didn't want him to think I was saying, "You?" as in, "You?" Aaron? The man that doesn't like sports? The "You" who, even though I have a super-duper imagination, I can NOT imagine doing this...ever? "You?"

This is the man who I convinced to run with me one time. When I would stop to get a drink of water, he would stop and drink his PEPSI. I'm not kidding. PEPSI!

Aaron thought it was very funny how funny I think this is.

Twelve years of marriage and...can I just say I NEVER saw this coming?

So, we emailed the birth certificate man to tell him the good news.

Aaron will coach if they need him.

So, if your child is playing soccer in College Station, (you have until Friday to register) you can request coach Hendrick.

Coach Hendrick.

Whew! I'm sorry honey, but I just laughed again.

Last time. I want that to be my last time!

Jenn has warned me that there are "super teams" and "super dumb teams." We'll just tell you right now, in the Hendrick home, we will be perfectly fine to make up a new category..."the superest of super dumb teams."

After I stopped laughing and thought about it...well, really, after Aaron said, "Heather, I know more about soccer than a five year old, AND I can buy Soccer for Dummies AND I have Megan and Kirby to help me" I began to think that Aaron will be the greatest coach ever. He will love the kids, teach them to play, and teach them to be good sports. And, if any of the parents are obsessed with winning, Aaron may do what he's always done when faced with tricky human situations, where some sort of reprimand is needed...he will probably moon* the winning-addicted parents.

As coach's wife, my first order of business will be to make up the thing that teams say while in the huddle. "On three, everyone says go." That's so lame. How about, "On three, everyone says, word to your mother?" I've heard that one of the main jobs the coaches have is making sure all the kids get to play. Apparently, although this sounds pretty easy, it can get pretty confusing to keep up with what kids have been out on the field. I think, to solve this, we should spray a streak of paint in the hair of every kid going out to play.

I'm getting so excited about this.

Go Coach Hendrick!

How cute are you?

How MIND BOGGLING are you?

Seriously...WHO ARE WE?

He'll do so well...because Aaron is a reader and can learn ANYTHING from books...like how to coach soccer or how to replace our alternator. If that doesn't make you sit down today with your kids and work on their reading skills, I don't know what else will do it.

I'm off to order Aaron this, and some wind pants.

Crud. I laughed again.

Last time!

*Mooning is not a method of dealing with people problems taught nor condoned at Baptist seminaries.

13 comments:

Randy & Rachel said...

Ok, your story was just what I needed. I can just imagine the look on your face when your husband said he would coach! Ha ha! Yall are going to have such a fun soccer season.

I've been following your blog for a while now and love how you are so real in it. I pray God will use me in that same way! God Bless! Ps. 115:1

D.O. said...

Can I see a picture of Aaron's shirt and shoes referenced in that post? I can't imagine what either would look like (and I'm pretty sure I know what his clothes look like). Thanks.

Oh, and Heather, did you know I moved (blogs) again? I hadn't seen you around lately, just wanted to make sure you weren't lost.

Kathryn, Michael & Alex said...

I emailed CSSC today to see if I could request Coach Henrick...have not heard back...I will try again tomorrow!!!

Hendrick Family said...

You've got to see his new clothes.

He's a stud.

Heather

theBirkenfelds said...

Reporting to duty coach!

You are going to have one hoss of a team. :)

Oh and when it cools off and it's too hot for those snazzy new wind pants you can borrow some of Brock's soccer shorts.

See ya on the pitch.

Meg

Jennifer Bacak said...

Heather, don't forget the chairs!!!
And the snack sign up lists!!! Super important.
How in the world could we be NOT playing this season, and y'all are? The whole world is upside down.
Aaron is coaching soccer.
Maybe Rusty is joining the Praise Team. I don't know.
jenn

Saja said...

How do you people find time for this stuff?!

Ryan Price said...

Oh man... I am laughing! This is great. Can you guys push soccer season back until this summer... just for me? I mean... if Aaron is the coach, can't he do whatever he wants?

Since it is a fact that Aaron does moon people frequently, I think you should take careful care to make sure that these wind pants, at the very least, have a nice draw sting. Easy access may not be the best thing for Aaron when a parent starts screaming!

I have to say that I am impressed... good on ya, Aaron! (that's a new expression I have learned)

Which of the boys are playing? Everyone?!

That's it.

CarpioFamily said...

ok, so seriously how do you sign up, we've been thinking about signing up Easton for baseball, but i think i missed that, plus at his age being in th out field is boring. What do you have to provide? Are your boys going to be on his team??

Hendrick Family said...

Kaylene,

To sign your kids up for soccer go to www.cssoccer.com

But, Ashton isn't playing. Only Hayden and Anson are playing. Ashton would have loved to play, but I can't imagine having three boys, on three different teams, with three different practice/game schedules...so Ashton will have to wait!

I don't think Easton would be on the same team as Hayden either, sad...but they do it by age.

I would have loved to have seen you guys every Saturday morning!

Heather

Kari said...

Laughing out loud!!!!!

I want Kye to play just to experience this with y'all! But don't think we are up for that again!

It will be much fun to hear how the season goes!!!!

Yeah! Soccer!!!!!

Laurie said...

If we weren't already on a team from the fall season and Joe wasn't assisting with the coaching, we would definitely request coach Hendrick!!

Maybe we will play ya'll. Our team is the Lightening Bugs. The little guys and girls out there in neon greenish/yellow. They do look like little bugs running around!!!

Yes, I agree with Jenn. Chairs mucho importante (not sure that's a word) as well as snack sign up. However, a team name is a must. Oh, and we have some other great tips, like finding a stuffed animal and hanging it on the goal, that way you can tell your team, "run to the goal with the (animal of your choice)" or " kick the ball at the (animal of your choice). This helped our team with goal confusion when you keep switching the goals.

You're going to have so much fun!!

Cool that you are running. I have always wanted to do that, but I always hold my side under my lung in agony everytime I even start to pretend I can run!

Aldape family said...

I think this will be such a neat experience for your family! Go team Hendrick!
Kayla
By the way y'all should check out the movie " Kicking and Screaming" It is about Will Farrell being a soccer coach! Very funny!