Friday, February 01, 2008

Been There, Done That, Didn't Get a T-Shirt

If you are a mom, you know...amazing things happen every day in homes, all across the world, that no one but you ever gets to see. Sometimes, it's seeing a child feel conviction, and come to you on their own and ask for forgiveness for something you never knew they did. Sometimes, it's seeing in real-life, tangible ways the growth God has brought in your heart as a mom when you notice how "no big deal" something seems that would have, a couple years ago, caused you to lose it. Sometimes those amazing things seem like nothing to the world, but in the moment, they seem incredible and worthy of celebration...or maybe just a little, quick hip hop routine.

Well, in Heatherland, those little things never go unnoticed.

If everyone got to live inside my make-believe world, they would see that one of the perks of Heatherland is that for major* accomplishments, you always get a t-shirt.

*In Heatherland, the definition of the word, major, is left entirely up to the citizens of this fabulous town.

And, your t-shirt always comes in the mail (because it's so cool to get packages in the mail).

On days when you don't get any mail, is anyone else bothered? On days when there is no mail in my mailbox, it makes me think that maybe the world has shut down and I didn't know about it because I don't read the news or watch tv much, and D.O. didn't tell the world broke, and I'm finding that out because of my empty mail box. No mail days affect me...not gonna lie.

However, missing mail days have nothing to do with this post.

Come back to Heatherland for a moment.

Like I mentioned, in Heatherland when you do something cool*, you are rewarded with a t-shirt.

*Single women, please note that your definition of "cool" suddenly changes DRASTICALLY once you become a mom. Consider yourself warned.

All t-shirts fit perfectly, never fade, are unaffected by Proactiv and are thick. I'm getting excited.

Here are some of the pretend t-shirts I have received in my pretend mailbox from the pretend world I made up, filled with pretend people who think all the lame things I think are fantastic are...well...actually fantastic.

That has only happened once in my life. I screamed with delight and clapped...and then had to explain to the very offended looking cashier that I wasn't trying to's just...she had no idea how big of a deal this was for me! I caught a math error! Me! I had a skip in my step for the rest of the week.

Here is a pretend t-shirt I sent to Melodi:

Here's one I sent Kirby:

Mindi got this pretend shirt from me months ago:

Here's one I'm putting in the pretend mail today for Kyle:

What t-shirts would you get in the mail?

What t-shirts would you send your friends?


Hendrick Family said...

I know someone is about to send me a comment that goes like this...

We should not exalt ourselves or boast in anything except the cross.

So, I'll save you the trouble.

I guess the t-shirts should really say...

God helped me survive four kids and the flu.

God gave my brain one answer to Trivial Pursuit.

God gave me more air in my lungs than He gave that cute sassy college girl next to me at the gym. I'm praying He will give her more air too. If I could have talked, I would have encouraged her to endure.

God gave me enough strength to get five kids dressed and to church on time all by myself.

God helped me get out of Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve without allowing me to hurt anyone or cuss.

God blessed me with the ability to open the dryer door and shut it without it ever stopping.

God is sovereign over socks.

God gave me mercy at the grocery store.

One time, God's divine math powers were given to me at Macy's.

Carrie said...

Not sure what I would put on a shirt. But I tell my husband often that he married Wonder-woman! He smiles and agrees.

hollymark said...

HA HA HA!!! I love the t-shirts and your comment about them too. Priceless!!

theBirkenfelds said...

LOL. Oh wow- I'm not sure which I enjoyed more- the actual post or your comment on your post.


I would give Brock the t-shirt:

"I grew up on a farm and in a town of more cows than people and turned out completely normal and even pretty awesome!"

I know that is a long one.. it would be front AND back.

The Kramer Family said...

My t-shirt in Lynseyland would say this.

"God helped me put 2 girls and 18 chickens to bed in one night in the rain."

There is a story that goes a long with this randomness. And it really was the Lord who relinquished my fear of walking around in dark. I HATE IT! Especially in the country. I was praying and quoting all of the scriptures I could think of the whole time. He was there. I even called Jason and made him be 'there' too on the cell phone.

We had moved one of our chicken coops during the day before Jason went back to work. Well, the following night I had to do all of the farm chores that Jason normally does because he was working. The chickens didn't go to their coop in their new location like all good little chickens should. So I had to moved them all....18 of the dark......across the pasture.

I was scared to death. And it was raining. Yep, I forgot that part. I didn't want them getting sick. NOT ON MY WATCH!

the amy's said...

God brought me through two unmedicated births in a thirteen month period. (without stitches)


derrickoliver said...

I'd like a sweatshop-free shirt that read,

"So you read Heather's blog... well I know her"

and the back would say

"...and sometimes I update her on current events."

I'd tell you if the world ended, by the way.

Bev Brandon said...

Oh, this older friend over doesn't have a clue what would go on a t-shirt BUT I thought this was the most creative, adorable, hilarious, precious, touching, fun post I've seen anywhere in a while!!! I have been a little sequestered over here with pneumonia. So, I'll give it a try:

Bev's T-shirt FROM THIS WEEK OF MY LIFE wouuld say:

I don't know who is in the Super Bowl and it's okay.

Front: My beautiful God just showed up
Back: in a FED EX envelope

Front: Survived running out of gas on a freeway
Back: Saved by an Aggie

I've Got the Walkin' Pneumonia
and the Boogey Woogey Blues

Garratts said...

Mike's would say,
"Yes that noise actually came out of body."

Mine would say,
"My stomach can't handle that"

Mindi said...

I never thanked you for the CUTE shirt! I wear it all the time!!

But I never see you wearing YOUR shirt that I sent you a while back - and I don't know how you survive this and I admire you greatly for earning that shirt.

You know, the one that says:

"I live in a house of five people where I am the ONLY one with no Y chromosomes."

How do you survive without GIRLS in your home to bond with?? I hope your new baby is a girl. I will give you bows and pink shoes.

But, I do wish I could borrow one of your boys sometimes. Did you know that when I was younger I used to always say I wanted five boys??? God was laughing, I'm sure!!

Jennifer Bacak said...

I'm a little upset that the flu t-shirt wasn't for me. I am a survivor of four kids with the flu, flu a AND b, and strep throat. Not good times.
In my world I just stole that t-shirt from you and I'm wearing it to church tonight.

Hendrick Family said... are right, Jenn.

You SO deserve to wear that shirt tonight.

You are the most recent recipient of that cool t-shirt. I got it last year during flu season, when I was home for about 3 months because my kids conveniently all got the flu, one week a part from each other. Crazy.

On the back of your t-shirt we should add:

"And we got the flu no fair."


brickmomma said...

I need the flu shirt, too....esp the part of the week apart sicknesses. #2 got it for 4 days, 7 days later #1 got it something terrible and my poor #3 just woke up with a fever, yep it has been a week since #1 was fever free.

And they all got the shot, too....

texasmcvays said...

Thanks so much I love my shirt!

That night Parker told Wayne..."Dad, you are not going to beleive this but Mom..(she pointed at me for dramatic effect) that Mom over there. Killed a snake, a snake Dad...Do you beleive it?"

So funny...

Bev Brandon said...

Hey, after doing the t-shirt "saved by an Aggie"--I thought I ought to post about it---so, when you have a sec, come by and read what an Aggie did for me---probably you know him cause, like, he lives in College Station...
ps - i am on my 2nd antibiotic w/ pneumonia--walked for 1st time today in 2 weeks
my teenage son is on his 4th ---
it is wicked

Bev Brandon said...

PS - the kid that rescued me was from your hometown AND
he graduates this year from A&M in law enforcement AND
he'll be a policeman in your current town AND
he's a good one to know cause he has a tow strap AND
he knows God showed up on I-45
PPS - I promise i'll wait a while before i comment here again.
I'm just so excited about God!
And I know YOU really like HIM,
BUT I just triple dipped
I'll be lurking for a while
cause I can't stay away!

Kirby said...

you're so funny...i like your disclaimer post, too.

and, i don't run the entire time, i'm pregnant...i stop at the point in my pregnancy when i start peeing on myself without any control, when i didn't even know i had to pee...

hopefully tomorrow mine will read, "I didn't have to change my "undergarmets" all day long b/c Asher is over the stomach flu!"

You need to write a chapter on what "wise women" do when their children have the stomach flu...strip down and streak through the house all day?

And, Heather you forgot about this shirt:

"I secretly fell in love with running but forgot to tell my friends about it until 3 months later."

Keep building up your mileage...and if you can run 4 miles by the middle of August, (give me 6 weeks to get back into it after baby #2) then we can start training for our half marathon...what do you think?

Ber said...

mine would say:

front: when she's pregnant my mentor pees on herself without any control or knowledge of the need to pee.
back: i pee on myself without any control or knowledge of the need to pee....i'm not pregnant.