Sunday, November 18, 2007

A Weekend We Will Never Forget

Need to get caught up on our adoption journey?
Go to the restroom, grab a snack and enjoy!


And to think...

I thought agreeing to adopt was something huge.

Silly ol' me.

Friday, Cindy Seay from New Life asked us to pray about whether or not we would accept twin girls.

Did you read what this mother of three BOYS just wrote?

Twin


Girls

When I'm honest, I was daydreaming about

One

Boy

My initial response was...

"Twins. How neat."

That lasted about 2 and a half seconds.

The next 24 hours was spent saying things like...


We will have five children.

Five children.

We will never sleep.
Ever. Never again.

How will we afford this?

How does anyone keep two newborns alive?

How dumb would we be to SIGN UP for this insanity?


We only have six thousand dollars. That was enough for one baby's adoption and finalization. Now we need about two thousand more. We don't have that kind of money.


Our house is nowhere near finished.


We will have seven people sleeping in two bedrooms.

How will we afford all that formula?


How can anyone even hold two babies at the same time?

I'm a mother, not an octopus.

What if they are born premature and we have to be at the hospital forever?

How am I going to bond with adopted twins? I've heard it can be hard to bond with twins when the one bonding is the one who birthed them. How will this ever work?

What will we drive?


How will we ever fit 5 children with our last name AND our army of neighbor kids in our car?

How will we all get to church?


How will I be able to teach my kids?

When will I sit down?

Can you imagine the laundry?


And...

Girls?

Seriously?

One girl would scare me to death...and I'm agreeing to two of them?


How will this white mama ever be able to fix a little brown girl's hair...how will I fix TWO little brown girl's hair?

I could go on and on and on.

I did to the Lord...but I'll spare you.

God must have known I would morph into a freak job as soon as Cindy asked us to pray.


So He did some very neat things to lovingly remind me that He has this under control.

As soon as we found out, I was talking to Kirby and she said, "What is Aaron thinking right now?"


I asked Aaron while on the phone with Kirby.


He said, "I'm leaning more towards yes than no."


Again...I thought I was going to hyperventilate.


Then he reminded me of my dream.


The MORNING of the same day Cindy contacted us, I was sitting in the living room reading my Bible.
I had been up for about 30 minutes...but all of a sudden, I remembered the dream I had during the early morning (during the time between going tinkle at 5 a.m. and waking up for the day).

Aaron was on the couch in the same room reading a book to Hayden. I thought, "Do I tell him my dream?" I don't know why, but I had to purposefully choose to tell Aaron. I had to wait for him to finish reading to Hayden...and then again...I kind of wrestled with whether or not I would tell him.

Finally, I said...

I dreamed last night that today we got picked.

We were in Cindy's office. She told us she was about to show our profile to a birth mom, but wanted us to know that we would be picked. So, the three of us rejoiced together, knowing we would soon meet OUR birth mother because it was a done deal.


By that afternoon, even after getting the news from Cindy, I had never thought about that dream again.


When Aaron reminded me, I could not believe it.


I'm so glad I told him.

And...I'm so glad HE remembered MY dream.

The day we were called was the day I told my husband I dreamed we got picked.


Amazing.

I've NEVER had dreams that mean ANYTHING. They are quite entertaining dreams...but pointless, I hope.


Aaron and I decided to take this weekend to pray and fast about this decision.

My idea was to make a good, handy dandy pros and cons list.


I love a good pros and cons list.


I could not wait to pull up publisher, so I could make a beautiful, colorful chart.

This would be the pros and cons list to beat all pros and cons lists.

I already had mentally picked my font.


Aaron said he would rather we just pray and wait to hear from the Lord.


This is why God wants Aaron to lead...not me.


So that's what we've done.


I don't know how many of you were sitting in the Saturday night service...I've heard all three services were completely different...another amazing thing to me, because I know God spoke a specific message straight to our hearts.

A missionary from Nicaragua preached.


Even though the message was about missions, God spoke clearly to both of our hearts. These were not babies we were praying about. These are two souls. Two souls.

He said things like... "When God asks you to do something, it doesn't matter if you don't think you're smart enough, if you feel unprepared, if you don't have the details. All you can do is say, yes."

Then, about four times, he said...
"If God has asked you to do something, to serve him, do not leave this place without telling Him yes."

"Do not leave this place without telling God, yes."

Holy cow.

Then it was Aaron's turn.

The first song he lead us to sing, planned EARLIER in the week was...

"Whatever you ask of me, I know my answer will be yes, Lord...yes..."


I sat there, watching him sing, tears running down my face, knowing EXACTLY what we were about to say yes to.

Then we sang words that were SO HARD for me.

"It's your life. It's your life. It's not my life anymore."


If this was my life, then I'd rather have one baby at a time.


If this was my life, then I'd rather have more money before agreeing to this.


If this was my life, then I'd like for there to be three bedrooms that are FINISHED upstairs.

If this was my life, then I'd like to be able to try and nurse my adopted child...and how will I do this with two?
(yep...you actually can nurse adopted kids)

If this was my life, then I'd like some sleep.


I'd like to sit down.

I'd like to all be able to fit in our vehicle.

But this isn't my life.

And when God asks, "Who will go?"


Our answer needs to be, "Lord, send us."

That sounds so easy to do...

But believe me, I feel like I said, "Lord, I just wet my pants, but send me."

I have never cried more than I have this weekend.

And what's hilarious about all of this is...


We may not even be getting twin girls!
This just means that the birth mom will have two choices. Our family and another family.

She would still have to pick us.


We just know that God has shown us without a doubt this weekend that we were supposed to say YES to Cindy about showing our profile.


So we did.

The birth mother will meet us by looking through a book on Wednesday of this week.

Please pray.

Pray for her. Can you imagine?

This huge emotional train wreck this weekend has been over whether or not we MIGHT be getting twins.


Honestly...

My heart was stirred from the moment I found out about these girls.

All I could think, through teary eyes, while reading all their information was...

"Are these my daughters?"

Maybe not.

But I'm thankful that God has placed them in my heart...maybe just to pray for them. They are due the first week of January!

I can't get over how much God has shown up, has taught us, has refined us...how much we have seen him do weird God things...how much our faith has grown through this adoption process...AND WE HAVE NOT EVEN BEEN PICKED.

17 comments:

Landreneau Family said...

Wowee.

I have been praying and praying for you guys since last night. Your post for prayer popped up on my feed, so I saw it before it got deleted. I am SO glad for that!

We will continue to pray. It's amazing how God has equipped you to love two souls who may never be yours. Beautiful.

Aimee

Carrie said...

WOW! I'm proud of you for saying yes. God wants you to be obedient. Even if you are not picked, you showed God who is in control.
By the way.... my girls have been easier than my boy. Plus diaper changing is much easier!!!!! Since they are the same sex, you can have them share clothes (less spending on your part).

The Lourceys said...

Wow, what a huge life change. I will definitely be praying. We know that God will supply all your needs. It's going to be exciting to watch him work. Thank you (and Aaron) for making yourselves available to be used by God in this capacity. It's a true testimony to those around you. And thanks for sharing your journey with us. What a blessing!

Leslie Moore said...

That's amazing! Clayton and I are praying for you and the family!

Katy said...

As I was reading your story, I couldn't help but think of my precious 6 year old twins in my Kindergarten class. They have beautiful brown skin and they are adopted as well. I am so blessed everytime I read your adoption stories. I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you and the baby girls that could possibly be a part of the Hendrick family.

Bev Brandon said...

God picked you out of all the mothers in the whole world to be a mom to...

Your First Love loves you with a love you will never lose Heather. You have a beautiful self! Because your beautiful God dwells in you and loves you, which supercedes all human love, it is His First Love you give away every day. Praying for who will receive that First Love next.

You won't have to give up too much more, honestly. You have already had to give up everything---you are already losing your life for His Sake.

Oh! I can't wait to hear what your good sovereign God is going to do! This would be so exciting to have twin girls! OOOHHH!! We already know how great a mom you are!

Hendrick Family said...

This weekend, I found several moms of twins on the internet and asked them for some honesty about what to expect.

They were honest...it will be hard, but then they said something I would have never thought could be true.

They didn't just survive the first year...if they could do it again, they would!

I have been so encouraged by them this weekend.

Heather

alisha said...

I will be praying hard! I'm so excited for your fam. What amazing brothers your boys would be to those precious little girls! The Lord's ways are SO MUCH higher, mightier, challenging and better than our own!! I know Val and I will eagerly be waiting for the post & find the nearest wi-fi avaialbe in Cali to read the adoption update since will be half way to Seattle!

Heslip Twins said...

What an awesome blessing this will be if it is His will you adopt those twins! Just remember that He will not give you more than you can handle.

Sorry we were not in town this weekend and missed your call. Please call any evening around 6 if you would like to talk.

I remember thinking that it was going to be so hard, and I wasn't going to be able to handle it. God has a way of making things possible! Of course, I would highly recommend lots of help the first month, but after that, it should be a breeze to you since you've already raised three boys.

For a while, you will be able to hold them at once. If they are like mine and are super huge babies by the time they are four months old, you won't be able to do that anymore! Girls tend to be more laid back (mine is anyway), so they will probably surprise you at how easier it will be.

There is a Mother of Twins group in town that meets the first Monday of every month. There are several ladies that have twin girls, most are twin boys and a few mixed. When they are older, this would be a fun group to get together with. They have gatherings/play dates each month, and most have other children as well. Plus, the mothers are a wealth of information.

This is truly exciting, and I can't wait to see what God's plan is for those twins! We will be praying for you, and we will certainly share with you anything we have that can help (coupons, clothes, etc.).

Mindi said...

Heather, Heather, I am sooooo excited for you and your beautiful family!!

You will LOVE having girls!!! I am praying for you and your family, and for these precious precious baby girls who need a family.

You might be freaking out in so many ways, but you know that if God can work out the big details like finding the perfect family for these precious little souls, he can work out the little details like where everyone sleeps.

You can have ALL my baby girl hand me downs! I have enough for twins, I think!!

You will soon find that fixing the babies' hair is your favorite thing to do in the mornings. You get to pick out bows and clips and decide, "one pony or two?"

When we had Myla, we had a van that barely housed us with five kids. We squooshed in with six anyway for a few months until we got our Suburban. My brother is a car auctioneer and can get you a super-good-deal when you need a new vehicle.

As for bedrooms, just pile them up for a while. They really don't mind. We had to stay in a two bedroom apartment with no furniture when we lived in Biloxi. Monica and Maci shared a futon mattress on the floor for a whole summer. And didn't care!!

We love your family so much! We are praying for you all the time!!

God is so good! And he knows what he is doing!!

Mindi

emily ward said...

Heather,

I apologize if this is a little lengthy.

I sat down and read your blog this morning because I have had you guys on my heart heavily this weekend. I got to the part where I was reading you would have 5 kids. 5. A FULL quiver. Then I thought of Quinten. Of how I wasn't quite ready for a second baby and how God placed his name on my heart (before I even knew it was a boy!). I told the girls at my work I liked the name Quinten, but that it only meant 'five... cinco...5... nothing else. Who would want a name like that? Then one of those very same ladies told me. 'You know, five is the number of grace in the bible.' God changed the fifth letter of Abram's and Sarai's names to show his covenant of grace (through circumcision) with them, the fifth verse in the bible we have the completion of the first 'day' of creation. The fifth day of creation we see the creation of the animals and of life itself. So here we see that the very act of giving life is a gift of GRACE. Quinten is Gods gift of grace to us. Who knows if these precious baby girls are yours or not. But just the fact that you said yes, you guys are allowing Gods grace into your life in an awesome way. And we all know that no matter how many bottles of formula it would take, or hands you would need, "Gods grace is sufficient for me." FIVE kids - wouldn't that be a GREAT number.

Kari said...

Woofta! (Have no idea if that is how it is spelled!) :)

Friend, I know you know this, but I can always use a reminder...

Because of your obedience, God is going to bless in bigger and greater ways than we can even dream up or imagine! Who knows if you will be chosen or not, but you obeyed!!!!

Thanks for sharing! You are in my prayers! I can't wait to see what our amazing God has planned for the Hendricks!!!

Hi. My name is Alanna. said...

What Emily just wrote is beautiful. I doubt I could say anything better than that.

Praise God for putting His perspective and His heart into your lives. Amazing how often He calls us to things we don't think in our power we can truly be, yet His grace never fails to be sufficient in each instance.

I have friends who just adopted 3 kids from Liberia. They originally planned on one, then settled on two, but never considered three. Not until they received the same call as you, that is. And while they had no children of their own, they still never saw themselves as adopting a female. Boys were stuck on the brain. Now they have 2 sons and 1 daughter, and "her white mama has learned how to do her hair so good she's gotten compliments from the black mamas." My friend was so proud she said it was the best compliment she's ever received in her life.

Amazing - God even cares about hairdos. You can see their story at http://bowersoxfamily.blogspot.com/. They're also linked on my page. I'll write on my calendar to be praying specifically for Wednesday.

Holly said...

I know I'm 23 but I don't think it would be that bad. As I was reading I was thinking it would be hilarious to have 5 children. And I just finished listening to a sermon on how children are a blessing and the importance of fathers discipling their children here: http://64.34.176.235/sermons/SID15607.mp3

It's by Voddie Baucham. He said something like, "A mother of 5 walking into a Southern Baptist Church is a blessed woman." A lot of times people think of all those questions like you were asking - those are normal. Just think about how many opportunities for the Kingdom that this would bring - so many lessons to exhibit faith to an unbelieving world. He will use you in more ways than you will ever know. Let us know what you decide.

:)

Jessica said...

Hendricks -

I only know you through Rachel's blog, but I have been entertained for weeks by your posts and closely following your adoption journey. I have never posted on anyone's blog that I don't know (much less on people's that I do know), but tonight I decided I should.
I am a mother of twins...and boy was I unprepared. I had a husband in medical school (meaning we were broke) and we lived in a 1 bedroom 700 sqft apartment. I was forced to quit my job (meaning we were REALLY broke)and waited patiently for 7 weeks and 4 days in the hospital to try and hold on to my pregnancy for as long as I could. I gave birth to two beautiful boys 10 weeks too early. They spent 7 weeks in the hospital...it was very hard to bond. I had to battle NICU nurses and breathing machines just to hold my little guys.
The great part is that the joy I have every day with my two precious boys...who are perfect by the way...totally outweigh all the fears that I had. God has such a way of calming the storm.
Although I don't know you personally, I am positive that these two little girls would be blessed to be part of your family.
By the way our blog is sjyoungblood.blogspot.com just in case you want a peek at our journey.

Jessica

The Kramer Family said...

The Lord can do so much for HIMSELF with a willing heart.

I dream of the day when we will receive the phone call announcing the blessing of our new niece(s) or nephew(s). Until that phone call, we will be praying.

We love you guys so much.
Auntie Lyns

Melodi said...

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

You're so like me in so many ways! I would want a pretty pros/cons list as well. I would sit and plan out who would sleep in what room, where the new car seats would fit, what the new school schedule would be, etc.

This is one of the many times it's hard to stop and say, "What are YOUR plans for us, Lord?"

Psalm 66:10 (New International Version)


10 For you, O God, tested us;
you refined us like silver.

If these are your daughters, you will go through trials. Oh, the incredible joy as well! You are about to find out things about your character you never knew existed. And God will be refining you daily.

None of it may make sense when you look at it logistically - the lack of finished bedrooms, a bigger vehicle, homeschooling - so you did exactly what you are called to do! You followed Aaron! No matter what happens, that was right. That was God's plan.

You will question yourself at those many feedings in the wee morning hours. Did we really hear God correctly? Did He really tell us to do this? Does He really want us to sacrifice THIS much????

He spoke so clearly this past weekend. It's been confirmed in several ways. This is Him talking.

You may have to give up A LOT. You may have to give up the notion of sitting down and completing a task completely before moving on to another. You'll be amazed at how many times the word "mom" can be called in a day. (including the way that babies call "mom" - WAAAAA) You will have to change how you go to the grocery store, you will have to totally rethink how you get ready to leave the house for anything major like church, and you will have to help your boys rethink some things.

Some people will call you crazy.

Those of us that know and love you will call you obedient. :)

God placed two babies in our house over the last year and a half that I initially tried NOT to bond with!!! I tried so hard! It was impossible. You have been praying for your child(ren) long before now and already love them. God will take care of the bonding. Maybe not the first day or first month, but He will.

You always teach me, Heather. Always.

I love you,

Melodi