Everyone in the whole wide world should go to the Ross King concert!
I used to fantasize about being a smoker.
I know why.
Singing cool rider...
How could anyone NOT want to smoke after watching that INCREDIBLE movie 98,000 times?
She is also why, to this day, I still HAVE to dip my hamburger in ketchup while I eat it.
I remember the first time I smoked.
I was in first grade.
My neighbor's parents were FIENDS.
My neighbor friend, Angela, and I snuck in the bathroom and smoked our first grade hearts out.
Then we forgot to flush the butts down the toilet.
We got caught.
I was with Aaron and this Russian exchange student who was living at Aaron's house.
The Russian begged me to smoke.
I had withstood American peer pressure...but the Russian kind was harder to resist.
His peer pressure was in Russian...and I'm not bilingual.
He was one tricky Russian boy.
I stood outside on the carport and tried to be cool.
Then I decided I'd had enough.
But when I started talking...smoke was still coming out of my mouth.
I started exhaling heavy...trying to shove all the air out of my lungs.
Then, I got so nervous.
The smoke was stuck inside me!
I began to freak out, thinking Aaron's parents were going to walk out any minute and catch me with smoke coming out of my throat.
They would never believe I was half dragon.
"It won't stop coming out! I have smoke stuck in my mouth!!!" I screamed.
That's when Aaron looked at me and calmly said, "It's cold outside. That's what your breath always does in the cold. That's what everyone's breath does in the cold."
"Oh....yeah." I said.
He kind of just stared at me, shook his head, and then a few years later, he still married me...so who's the dumb one?
Lynsey and I were talking about smoking last night.
Do people still get smoke breaks?
We think they do.
Is it because they are addicted to smoking?
They get smoke breaks so they can smoke, because if they don't smoke, they go nuts?
If that's why people get smoke breaks...
Then if I ever got a real-life, leave my house, get dressed job...
Do you think they would let me take an email break?
Because my need to check my email hourly is probably just as intense as needing a cigarette fix.
If it's been more than an hour since I've pushed send&receive...I get a little shaky...and a tad bit irritable.
So I don't see how smoking/email checking could be different.
If my boss wouldn't let me have an email break, I'll just be real honest here...I would probably start smoking.
And I would take my laptop outside with me.
Then I could check my email.
And smoke at the same time.
Surely there are no company rules against multitasking on a smoke break.
That would be silly.
As long as you're smoking, would it matter what else you were doing during that 15 minutes?
Smoking and knitting?
Smoking and checking blogs?
Smoking and napping?
Smoking and straight ironing your hair?
Which means...if you work, and your boss gives smoking breaks...you are silly not to smoke.
If I had an "outside" job, I would smoke for sure...except, I would smoke gum. Remember those gum cigarettes? Surely, if your boss gives smoke breaks, they can't regulate the kind of cigarettes you smoke. So what if you like to smoke gum? Some people like the ones with the camel. Some people like the ones that are in the green box. I would like the gum ones. What's wrong with that?