Friday, October 12, 2007

Confessions


Here's a secret oddity about me.

When I'm around men...I always look at their adam's apple.

I do.

I don't know why.

We can be in our small group having in-depth conversations about really deep things...but at some point, being the easily distracted lame-o I am, I will inevitably scan the room...looking at adam's apples.

If you are non-female...and you've ever been around me...I've looked at your adam's apple.

I've noticed it.

It's true...and I can't stop.

They are so weird and sort of gross...which then makes them crazy fascinating to me.

Just thinking about touching one...

Yep...I just convulsed.

Is having an adam's apple sort of like having a knee cap on your neck?

That's what I've imagined them to be like.

When I touch my knee cap and it moves...I have to blink back the barf.

If Aaron ever put his adam's apple on me, I would hyperventilate and heave.

I'm sorry...but if you're male...I have probably also imagined smacking your adam's apple with a wooden spoon or a spatula...or a baseball bat...

because I want your adam's apple to go in...not stick out.

I have imagined playing "whack a mole" with your adam's apple.

It feels good to come clean.

Real good.

I know most people have parts of the body that make them cringe...

So no one break out the meds or straight jackets.

I'm fine.  Maybe.

9 comments:

Landreneau Family said...

HA!

My bus driver from first grade had the BIGGEST adam's apple ever. I used to think it was there to keep his head on. It was my only explanation for its huge-ness.

Aimee

Kari said...

Heather!

See....I know that when I visit your blog I will laugh, cry or have an a-ha moment!

You inspire me! Thanks for your blog!

luv ya!
Kari

D.O. said...

You hate my beard because it blocks the view of my Adam's apple... It keeps you from mentally ridiculing me. I see how it is.

Hendrick Family said...

Don't fret, D.O. I have mentally whacked your mole right through your beard MANY times in the last few weeks.

Heather

BHG & Co. said...

And to think you claim that I have issues. I must admit, I began reading this post thinking "What in the world?"

Then I became intrigued. I even lifted my chin and investigated my apple (which, by the way, is not very noticiable... I never think about it).

The whack a mole thing... I was not sure to be offended, scared, or invest in a turtleneck.

But then when I read this:

If Aaron ever put his adam's apple on me, I would hyperventilate and heave.

I laughed out loud.. A LOT!

That is just stinkin' hilarious. You're a nut!

the Apels said...

I love that Aaron is back to commenting on pics! He makes me laugh!

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness.... now I have to look...... next time I look at you Heather ... thinking what a beautiful daughter you are..... I will have to cover my adams apple.........

Have you watched the boys on the trampoline.... I bet the adams apple goes up and down ..... those sweet boys.

Heathers proud of her Dad

Sarah said...

laughing out loud at this crazniess.

but i admit, they are so weird!

Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

Oh glory. I cannot agree more. And when it's extra pointy I am extra incapable of looking away.