Thursday, August 16, 2007
Balloon Gorillas and Cancer
We drove to Houston this morning for our PAC meeting with New Life.
Woo-who! I'm so excited.
But after driving through the land of Houstonia I have only one question I need answered:
Has ANYONE ever been driving down the road and decided to go into a car dealership and look at vehicles just because there was a gigantic balloon gorilla on the roof of the building?
Really. I need to know. This is serious.
I have to figure out why someone, somewhere thinks that a sure fire way to get someone else to buy a couch or a car is to put a huge inflatable dog with two thumbs up in front of their store.
Since everyone uses them, that means that SURELY at one point in history a person was driving down the road, saw a huge blow-up monkey on top of a Honda dealership and said to themselves, "Although I had no previous desire to purchase a new set of wheels...after seeing that large monkey...I simply must have a Civic. I simply must." Has someone really "gone bananas" because an air filled Mighty Joe Young on the side of the road was wearing a t-shirt that told them to?
When I see commercials on TV, I do this weird thing where I pretend like I'm in on the brainstorming session while the company and the advertising gurus are figuring out the advertising plan for a new product. I even participate in my make-believe moment of being a marketing person. I love coming up with ideas that will make the whole world think they have to have hair barrettes or bubble bath. I offer suggestions to the big whigs...some get shot down...but not many...because it's my daydream, and I discourage all forms of disagreeing with me in my own land of la la.
For the life of me, I can't wrap my brain around how the gorilla thing came to be. My imagination is not that good. I have tried and tried to recreate the moment when blow up animals on roofs became a great idea. I would love to meet the man that convinced business owners everywhere that the power of persuasion lies within an air pumped primate. How did he do that?
He must be a genius. A funny genius.
He's probably the same man that swayed a FOOD ESTABLISHMENT into making a mouse their mascot! I don't care if he wears shoes and can dance...Chuckie Cheese is a mouse...and for some reason, we're all okay with him being near our food. I just don't get it. The times I've been, I want to stand up in the middle of the restaurant on a table, like Sally Fields and say..."This is all a big joke on us! I know we're all being laughed at! Chuckie Cheese is a rodent! A RODENT! This is a restaurant. They might as well have a roach dressed up like a rapper singing with our children while we eat! What is wrong with us? Who goes to an eating facility that ADVERTISES they have vermin running around inside? We have to stop the madness. We need to kick it to the man...the Chuckie Cheese, Balloon Gorilla Man!"
After I lived out my Sally Fields fantasy, I would get down off the table, leave Chuckie Cheese and go into the mall. Then I would buy something from the Origins counter...because their posters have wet leaves on them and waterfalls...and all their salesgirls have smooth skin on their face...and smell like mints. I would leave there convinced that now I will have a pretty face and save the world from pollution and decay. I will save the earth and look gorgeous and wholesome doing it. And I won't get cancer...ever.
That kind of adverting works.