Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Lions and Tigers and Tarantulas...Oh Pants!

I've always had a list of things I swore I would never, never do.

That list is getting shorter and shorter the longer I'm married to Aaron.

I thought I would never marry someone younger than myself. He's 6 months younger.

I thought I would never allow my kids to own a tarantula.

There's one sitting in a bug keeper IN MY HOTEL ROOM.

Our boys have always wanted one.

Anson has been asking for a tarantula since he was about three.

Our way.

We were a united front.

We have stood in Petco, holding hands, shaking our heads in unison with three little boys looking up at us, pleading their case with their eyes...and their mouths...and their legs.

They did not faze us. Just say no to tarantulas...that was our motto.

Dobson and Tripp would have been so proud of us...protesting together.

THEN, yesterday we went to the Austin Zoo...thanks for the recommendations you was wonderful.

The Austin zoo is the soupus we named it the zoopus.

It's tiny...there are only a handful of animals...and the handful of animals are all deformed. It was oddtastic. We go for oddtastic.

We had a fabulous time.

The soupus and the zoopus are both as entertaining and enjoyable as their circus and zoo counterparts...just in completely different ways.

While at the zoopus, there we were, just walking along, having a lovely time crunching the dirt beneath our feet...looking at the two headed monkeys...strolling around with marvelous Matt Graham...and that's when it happened...

Hayden started screaming with utter excitement, terror and joy. It was a great combination.

We saw a TARANTULA running after him along the path.

I'm not even kidding. It was chasing him.

Aaron went running towards the spider...which in itself was unnatural to me...the spider turned on Aaron...started running up to him...walks right up to his feet...Aaron dumps out this white bag of petting zoo food he was holding...looks down and the spider of death was raising it's two front hairy legs up in the air, right at the toe of Aaron's shoe. Aaron set down the bag and the spider walked in.

That all happened in about 3 frantic, insane seconds.

I was trying to take pictures...screaming...would sort of get the camera to focus and then I would scream and shake...and all the pictures are awful.

After it was over, Aaron held the tarantula in a little white lunch sack.

It was so exciting...but then it hit me...

What were we doing? Why was that tarantula in a bag and why was Aaron handing that bag to Hayden....why was Hayden jumping up and down asking, "Can I keep it, can I keep it? Why was Aaron, still high on the arachnid adrenaline nodding yes....wait...wait...WAIT!!! It was like one of those slow motion moments, where I watched them from a distance, and on the inside I was screaming a slow...Incredible Hulk, guttural N-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O as the white bag passed from lunatic father to nature loving son.

"We are NOT keeping that thing, Aaron."

"Yes we are!" Aaron excited...he looked shocked that I would even suggest something different.

I felt like the zoopus was spinning. What was going on?

The boys walked around with that nasty bag at the zoo until it was time to go.

Actually, we had to leave because it started raining.

What's the deal with the rain, by the way? Did the equator move, and no one told me? I don't watch the news, so being out of the loop is normal for me...but really...if something as huge as the equator relocating were to happen, I would need my news savvy friends to share the Britt Hume and tell me.

We got in the car.

With the spider in a BAG...a non metal bag...without a lid.

It was too much for me. What if it got out and touched me...I would jump right out of the car into question about it. I would die...and the spider would have to wipe Ashton's hiney, sleep with Aaron and homeschool our children.

We don't have a mom...but we do have a spider....that would be their new motto.

The boys put it in a rubbermaid wipe's container with a lid for the car ride.

Anson says, "Isn't it cool mom, that we caught a tarantula?"

I said...

"No. It's not cool to me. "

I respectfully, but a little on edge told Aaron..."Honey...the boys have always wanted a tarantula, and we've always said no."

"But this one was free!" he said.

"So MONEY was the only reason why you were saying no all those years?"

He thinks for a second and then says..."I guess so!"

"Well it's not the only reason I was saying no."

"You have to keep it. It was chasing Hayden and then walked up to Aaron and lifted it's it was saying, 'hold me' says Matt Graham. "It's destiny." I wanted to kick his seat.

The boys named the Tarantula, High Five.

On the way to Petco to buy it a "habitat", Anson said...

"So now...maybe one day we can get a scorpion."

I said, "Well I guess maybe one day we can, since before about 10 minutes ago, I thought we weren't going to get a scorpion because they are disgusting, I hate them and they should all be killed...but maybe Dad has another reason why we aren't getting a since I don't know the reasons behind the rules, I obviously don't know the loopholes of these laws I guess I can never say never."

There is now a tarantula in our hotel room in a habitat.

A tarantula...which sounds like Dracula...who wants EITHER of those things in their hotel room?

It looks just like this picture...only it's moving and I can't make it disappear by clicking on someone else's blog...and that makes it even more terrifying

I checked the lid twice before I went to bed and asked Aaron to check it a third time.

The moral of this story is...I figure it can be an Aesop's Fable since there's an animal in it...

This craziness has made me realize that I need to communicate the WHY behind the input I'm giving my husband when we are making decisions. It's not enough to just be on the same team, as this story illustrates somewhat perfectly. If I would have known that the only tarantula the boys could NOT have was one that would cost money, instead of trying to take panicked pictures yesterday of this eight-legged beast, I would have picked up a rock and thrown it at the spider...and if that wouldn't work...I would have thrown the rock at Aaron...just hard enough to stun him long enough for me to yell..."Run spider Run!!" see boys and girls what happens when you don't communicate with your spouse clearly and completely?

Tarantulas...that's what happens.

Aaron has asked me if I really want him to let it go...but now I know Hayden would be beyond devastated. I will have to be tough.

11 years of marriage and we still stink at this! Aaron's only reason for not buying the boys a spider was that it was a waste of money. Money. My reasons had NOTHING to do with money. I would pay money right now for someone to take this tarantula FROM us. The problem...I never told Aaron WHY I didn't want us to have a tarantula. We both assumed the other knew the reasons behind our united decision. During a crazy moment with a spider chasing our son, a white lunch sack, a bouncing boy and a screaming mother...our miscommunication became quite obvious! Aaron handed the sack to Hayden who was BEAMING. There was no turning back now. High Five would be a Hendrick.

I will be talking Aaron's ears off from now on...I will write up all the reasons behind what I'm thinking. It's not enough to just be on the same page...every line needs to be read in the novel called each other. True intimacy...unity...becoming so one that we not only end at the same conclusion...we understand what road one another took to get there.

Another bump, in the shape of a tarantula on this road to becoming one.

We will overcome.

We will learn.

High Five will sleep on the porch under lock and chain.


Grandma said...

When the boys were little, they had a 3-part laundry routine. One basket for white stuff, one basket for colored stuff, and pile the blue jeans in the corner. No sorting - all done! One day I walked into the bathroom, and sitting quietly on the top of the blue jean pile was a HUGE tarantula. Well, it was huge to me.

Right there in MIDWAY, for petesake.

I ran for help, but I was home alone. And by the time I went back to the bathroom, Spidey was long gone.

The boys swore great swears that they did not bring home a tarantula.

But apparently, Spidey has been hunting for Aaron all these years. I guess he gave up and moved to Austin where the job market was better. Then, low & behold!!, he sees this kid who looks like Aaron wandering around the Zoopus, and he gets that Spider-Sense that life has come full circle.

You can't fight it, my girl.

Well, you can, but it's no fun.

Love you all.

Clay Wakefield said...

um... wow... i'm trying to think of something helpful to say but... yeah.

Ryan Price said...

Well... I'm glad that all the boys in the family are having a great time on this trip! Just one step closer to Man vs. Wild... I'm impressed Aaron, really impressed!

And just think Heather... if that spider ever gets loose in the house, he could get in the wall and crawl up behind the chalkboard while you're writing on it. Would that be GREAT!?!... just something to think about.

Sweet dreams!

Kelly said...

amazing! i just want to laugh and cry at the same time because I love you people! i can't wait to see you guys in the station again come mid-august! and heather, i can't stand spiders either, ESPECIALLY tarantulas:) and if you're still in austin, GO TO HULA HUT! and Mozarts for coffee (it's right by it!)

BrunerAbroad said...

Quote from Wikipedia: "Before biting, tarantulas may signal their intention to attack by rearing up into a "threat posture", which may involve raising their prosoma and lifting their front legs into the air, spreading and extending their fangs" Is that what Hive Five was doing??

But don't worry - there don't seem to be any North American tarantulas with deadly poison.

Some people eat tarantulas. Supposedly they taste like shrimp.

Carrie Williams said...

Don't you just love being the only girl in a family of boys? I'm constantly giving Jonathan "the look", the one that says I can't believe the boys just did that and you're just sitting there calmly, or he's actually joining in! Just the other day Jonathan commented on how much more "girly" I am now than when we got married, I attribute that to having birthed 2 boys and as I am now the only female in our family (even the new dog is a boy!) and I need to enjoy the skirts, makeup, haircolor, and everything else "girly" or I might morph into one of the boys! Our boys want a rat!!!! I told them no way, we paid to get rid of rats in the attic when we moved in why would we pay to move one back into the house?!?!

Thanks for the good laughs and this great story that the boys are gonna love to hear!

Carrie Williams

Hendrick Family said...

Laura! Attacking...I told Aaron when we woke up this morning..."Laura said when it does that thing with it's front legs, it's trying to attack you. It doesn't mean it wants you to hold him." Aaron says..."Oh...yeah...I know."

He knew it was trying to attack him and kill him...he knew the spider was hating his shoe...and he still brought the spider home.



I miss you!!!


Karen said...

Oh WOW! I think I will have spider nightmares after that story! UGH!!! Soooo creepy! Glad yall are having fun in Austin! I hope High Five turns out to be a good pet for you!

The Kramer Family said...

Oh my gracious. A tarantula! Seriously. I was doing great coming over with snakes there. Now a tarantula is going to greet me on the porch!

I think you should just fence of your porch, make cute little cubbies (preferrably behind glass) for all of the critters and call it the 'Hendrick Zoopus'.

By the way, the soupus is coming to Brenham on Saturday. I wanted to let you know.

A small town and a circus......there has to be lots of laughs surrounding that, right?

Melodi said...

O.K., one of Mark's all-time favorite make fun of Melodi stories involves John Mark's pet tarantula - which is now dead and gone, but was probably here about the time Anson was 3 or 4...sorry...I have always let him have creepy pets. I earned Super Mom status when we bought him a snake - which still lives here 6 years later. Anyway....I was paranoid about the pet scorpion and the pet tarantula, so I often went in JM's room to check on them. I SCREAMED when I couldn't see the tarantula one night!!!! "Mark!!!!!!! Mark!!!!!!! The tarantula is GONE! It's in this house!" He ran up, looked in the cage for a moment, and DIED laughing!!! It was clinging to the lid of the cage, so I had just missed it. I'm feeling ya, Heather. We have to send a photo of all family pets for our adoption packet - do you think they'll change their minds when they see the snake? :) CPS workers never want to step in JM's room.

Bill, Heather, and Company said...

Man vs. Wild... impressive, but not nearly impressive as your rat in the garage story... i love that story. While I was in Louiville Brandon and I were remebering that story... a classic.

Did you ask the arachnid department if they were missing a spider? Though I am sure it was a wild spider, the possibility still exists. I mean, if a monkey ran up on your back, you would have asked questions.

Welcome to the family High Five... good luck Heather.

Anonymous said...

Hey Heather,

We have lots of scorpions around here. Just give me the word and we can relocate them to your house.

And they're not too bad. They eat crickets and you're happy when they die!

P.S. We have quite a few brown recluse spiders too if you are interested.