Thursday, October 26, 2006

Didgeri-doo Dah Didgeri-ay

Hear Thee, Hear Thee…

Once upon a time, like Tuesday, the Hendrick Family visited the realm of Plantersville and had a jolly ole’ time at the Texas Renaissance Festival

"What?" thou sayeth?

Pray thee don't tell me the Parent Hendricks betraveled their sweet, innocent offspring to that festival of filth! They should be made to walk the plank...or be thrown head first hither into the murky mote, or deep, dark, dreadful dungeon filled with dung and dirt...or put into these things for which the name eludes me-ith.

Everyone cease from jousting to conclusions.

Yes, normally the Renaissance Festival is full of bountiful, barely hidden bosoms and course, yet clever conversation…but alas, that was not the case when we went.

It was School Days…the rated "wee", booze and bosom-free Renaissance Festival.

We loaded up our flock and gallivanted off to find the festivities.

Thankfully the joviality was only 45 minutes from here.

45 minutes is why we went.

If we are in a car for 46 minutes or more with my four children, I start looking for an eject button…for them, or me.

Our next car is going to have one of those.

Or maybe just a button, that when you push it, the seat of the screaming child turns upside down for a moment.

That would shush them...I'm sure of it.

Aaron will have the flip-o-matic switch installed on my seat because I am just as grumpy in the car as my children, which is, I’m sure, why they are grumpy.

I don’t do well with nothing to do.

There is NOTHING to clean in the front seat of a car.

Reading is difficult since Hayden never stops talking to me, even though a perfectly good father is in the vehicle to which he could speak.

Aaron tries to be kind and say, "What Hayden" and answers him for me every once in a while, but Hayden politely says, "I'm talking to mom, dad."

Danny never stops repeating what Hayden is saying and Ashton never stops dropping his cars or saying, “What’s that noise?” or shouting, "BIG's verde." He only likes to reference his colors in Spanish these days.

It unnerves me to accomplish nothing but mere travel while traveling.

Sitting there not multi-tasking is highly wearing on me.

You can’t change me. I’m sorry. It’s who I am.

But…enough of that…back to our merry roundabout.

We left bright and early…so early that when I called Jenn to tell her we were on our way to pick up her double jogging stroller, I also had to tell her all the sights I was beholding.

College Station has rush hour traffic.

It was precious.

I was fully dressed.

I had reached my required caffeine intake quota for the morning.

It was a weekday.

To this she said, “And you have ALL your kids?”

Very funny.

We grabbed the double jogging stroller, McDonald's breakfast (fashizzle!) and were on our way to all things unicorned and medieval.

By the way, who in their right mind JOGS…

AND pushes two children in front of them?

That sounds like some kind of medieval torture, so we are not off task, people.

We pull up to the middle of nowhere and all of a sudden, there’s a castle.

I love castles AND nowhere.

We get out…we’re all so excited.

I think I say, “I’m so excited” about 50 times on the way to Plantersville and then 50 more times between the car and the castle entry.

We walk in and the first thing Hayden sees is the medieval equivalent to a kiosk…

I’m sure it’s called a mykioskermen in medievalian.

The mykioskermen is FULL of wooden swords of all shapes, sizes and prices.

I thought he was going to faint.

Of course he had to have one (Aaron's pocket anticipated this.)

He picked one out.

A kind fair lady tried to knight him.

It was nice of her, but really…she didn’t know that when you are four and someone hands you a cool sword, you’re not interested in being knighted…you just want to whack something…or someone.

Hayden wasn’t interested in being a knight at all. He picked a pirate sword because he wanted to be a pirate.

She tried to knight him…Hayden saw her coming at him with her dubbing sword so he yanked out his pirate sword and attacked her. Yep.

It was terrifying yet so understandable.

He simply had to hit something.

She and her sword coming right at him were asking for it.

Here's the picture right before I realized Hayden was NOT stopping his attack...and that this sweet lady had no knowledge of the inner-workings of a sword-holding four year old's muddy mind. I had to lower the camera and say, ""...and then made him apologize.

We walked about three steps and then he practically maimed an unsuspecting dragon seller.

At this point, Aaron had “the talk” with him…one we repeated the entire day…and today…and I’m sure for many, many more days.

The first thing we did was go to School of Sword.

Hayden got picked to go out into the arena for sword lessons in front of a big crowd.

He always gets picked when someone asks for volunteers.

I think it’s his hair.

He goes out there…and of course, he was not nearly as interested in the sword lessons as he was his own sword moves he had learned during the short walk there...and making everyone laugh at him.

SEVERAL times, one of the assistant sword teachers had to make his way over to Hayden and give him private lessons. Apparently, taking your sword, sticking it in the sand and slinging the sand on the other “students” is NOT one of the maneuvers they wanted the kids to master that day.

Anon, we left there, found a sweet swing and swung in it. Aaron is building one of these in our back yard. What fun.

We watched a funny mud show.

Hayden kept screaming, “I want in the mud. I want in the mud.”

Since we were on the front row, Anson asked cautiously, "Do you think this is going to get on us?"

How is it possible to be raising antonyms?

When the man dove into the mud head first, Hayden says, “I want to stick my head in the mud.”

When the man ate mud, Hayden finally said, “Gross.”

Anson was my sweet Anson all day...

Just looking...watching...asking questions.

Perfectly happy to just be with friends...

And look at the “collectibles.”

He was constantly comparison-shopping.

Really. I think he’s 50. So cute.

He paid $5 to win a dragon statue.

It's these things that bring him great pleasure.

Small things DO NOT bring his father or Hayden much pleasure.

Near death is the only thing that satisfies the two of them.
Aaron and Hayden both wanted to bungee.

When I saw the sign out front of the bungee station, I wasn’t sure I could let them do this in good faith.

Hayden weighed in at 38 pounds with all his heavy winter clothes on and shoes.

As for the mental health part...I stayed way back, so no one would try to make me take an oath.

Aaron was like Spider Man.

He really is very good at this sort of odd thing.

If Aaron ever loses his job, because he will probably join the circus.

I’m not joking.

That’s exactly what would happen.

Hayden had no fear. None.

He loved it. He looked like he does this sort of thing every day.

I looked through all the pictures, and even though this height should not be allowed for a four year old whose mental soundness is constantly in question, I could find NOT ONE picture of him with a trace of fear on his face. Not one!

I’ll lose sleep over this.

We saw jugglers.

Aaron bought me a princess hat.

As soon as I put it on and turned around, my sweet little boys said, “You look beautiful, mom.”

Yes…boys are the best.

However, I took the compliment and started walking fast...compliments from boys usually come in two parts. The first part is great like...

"You look so cool mom."

Then the second part soon follows...

Anson once looked at me when I debuted my new tall, black boots I had wanted FOREVER and said..."You look so cool mom."

I said, "I do?"

Then he said, "Yes! You look like a Power Ranger!"


The second part is the whammy.

Hayden once looked up at me wearing this beautiful crocheted over-throw and said...

"You are so beautiful, mom."

The way he said it almost made tears well up in my eyes.

Then came the hammer...

He said, with such admiration..."You look just like Spider Man."

I've learned to take part one of the compliments and then quickly run away.

We ate Turkey legs like Vikings.

Ashton pulled an Ashton.

This means…

The child sat in a stroller for practically the entire day, completely content…happy…sweet…and then, we passed the horses that kids were riding.

He goes crazy. He cries. He kicks.

He simply must ride the horse…and we know, that when this normally docile child goes berserk…it’s something he must have…he simply must.

Those times happen about twice a year…and we let him win.

It’s his reward for being the easiest best baby ever.

He got off the horse, got back into his stroller…clapped for a second, talked about “dat horsy” and then went back to being perfect.
They are all so odd.

We walked around and fair-theed-well all day long.

The weather was beautiful.

My children were precious.

We loved walking into a mystical world of what once was, that still had ATM machines and clean bathrooms.

Aaron got a didgeridoo. He really did.

It sounds sort of like a whale talking, or a barge horn...but who cares what it does...the thing is called a didgeridoo.


I want to use it like this…when I walk into a room and find that one of my children has duck-taped his brother to the wall, instead of saying, “What did you do?” I’m going to say, “Did-ger-i-doo?”

So fun. Bring on the tape.

Finally, our day of merriment was over.

It had to end, as all good days and stories do.

They were closing.

Hayden cried all the way to the car.

I think he really believes those lords and ladies live there…with the mazes, the mud pits, the elephants, the capes, the jousting, the mykioskermens of swords…

It’s just another community 45 minutes away…and his mean parents won’t move him there.

I’m sure he thinks we’re the crazy ones.

Will he ever forgive us for not letting him be a gypsy?

When we were loading up, I asked the boys what their favorite parts of the day were.

Anson said, “The food and the Dragon Game.”

Ashton said, “Da Horsies.”

Danny said, “Horsies” because that’s what Ashton said.

Hayden just kept crying…and then said, “When I bounced in the air.”

Then he went back to crying.

We had not even made it out of the parking lot when this happened:

It was a great day.

Aaron's favorite part was being Spider Man and his didgeridoo.

He said it again! Didgeridoo. Didgeridoo.

My favorite part was my princess crown, the vines and that on the way home, I could not think of one thing I would do, if I were in charge of the Renaissance Festival to make it better.

It left me with nothing to think about on the way home.

So, I counted cars.


Melodi said...

Me thinks it must be an annual event in the clan of Hendrick and the clan of Henry!

Hendrick Family said...

Me thinks it too! Aye, aye and argh argh.

Anonymous said...

Teach Ashton the word:

'Haricot Vert'

It's pronounced "harry co vair"
It's french for green been.
It's the culmination of everything I learned in 2 years of high school French.

the word verification word of the day for this comment was "rokvmit."

I think that's Russian for Rock Vomit.

Brooke said...

what a fun, exciting day!!! the bungee jumping pics are great! how fun.... oh course hayden would do that.

freemans4jc said...

Thanks for the reassurance that you did not scar my sweet hendrick boys by taking them there.
The pictures definately do not show anything of the renaissance festival I remember from long ago!
So glad ya'll had a great time but I'm beginning to believe ya'll can make anything fun! The circus still rates the best yet.


Awesome, thanks for sharing!

Grandma said...

Y'know, if I had to choose between actually experiencing that day or reading your narrative of that day, I might just rather read the day. Thank you for the time it takes to put these wonderful experiences on your blog. I know you don't do it just for me, but it feels like it.

Love you mucheth.

Kathryn Berilla said...

How much fun.

I love the bungee jumping and the turkey legs!!!

Clayton said...

Yall never cease to amaze and/or amuse me... we need the didgeridoo for worship team

rachel said...

I loved the pictures. Congratulations, I think that was the longest blog post ever! I was thinking the other day how blogging is a great substitute for scrapbooking--or at least where I keep all my info until I am ready to scrapbook it. And if you never scrapbook anymore, this is a great way to record family memories.

schmale said...

I wanna go next year!!! Count me in. I'll come from anywhere to see Hayden fly!!

Miss you, Hendricks

Hosey's blog said...

Wow!! That looked like so much fun!! I've always wanted to go!! I like the bungee jump the best!

Jennifer Bacak said...

You should have warned me not to read this so that I wouldn't be sadder that I didn't go. I didn't want to brave it, pushing my double jogger, all by myself.
(My husband must worketh during the day, treating the lepers and such.)
The bungee had Emma written all over it. She and Hayden are cut from the same cloth, when we didn't even know that was possible.
I want a princess hat.
So fun for y'all. So sad for me.

Melodi said...

No, no, Jenn. Don't be sad, me lady. The festival comes again each year....full of funnel cakes and kettle corn for thy innards....and we can always kidnap some college girls with strong arms for the many strollers we'll all need next year!