Sunday, August 27, 2006

Kirb Appeal

Kirby calls…
Says the long awaited leggings have arrived at TARGET.

Even in my congested condition, I must see this to believe it.
After calling Kirby in the purses and asking, "Where?" AND three trips to the restroom...

That's right. THREE trips to the restroom.

I was in Target for under an hour today and had to take my kids to the bathroom 3 times.
For single people who shop slowly, giggling as you go, oblivious to what mother's go through to get some Spray and Wash, this should shock you and make you entertain our kids when you're standing behind us in line at the check out standing there calm, unfrazzled, non-sweaty, perusing People magazine to see what's going on with Angelina and Brad...we mothers, franticly trying to get out of the store before the kids realize they finished off all their juice in their sippy cups back on the picture frame aisle.

For fellow mothers, considering I took my kids to the bathroom three times with out abandoning my basket in the Dollar Spot, grabbing my kids and heading to the car, while saying

"Next time

we come here,

you're all wearing a diaper...

even you Anson"

meant one thing...

I wanted these leggings in a bad sort of way.

Yes, I pushed on, even after three trips to the bathroom.

Even though, like a think-ahead mom, I made them all go to the potty before we started shopping.
Nonetheless, at two different times, two of them had to go poo…

Which means, at two different times, anyone standing near us heard them announce, at the top of their little people lungs…
“Mom. I’ve got to POOP.”

No matter how many times we go over this, they refuse to whisper this bit of information.
I had to take Ashton to the bathroom twice.

First number one.
Then, 15 minutes later, number two.
I mean, really, what are the odds.
It’s got to be the lighting.

I bet they thought I was trying to shoplift my leggings.

And, believe me, trying to explain to a two year old that it would be so much more time efficient if in the future, he would try to coordinate all number twos with number ones is…

In response to that conversation, Ashton screamed in delight…
He was pointing to the Target sign.
I just sighed, knowing, those circles have a sick way of bringing me joy as well.
After all that...

Kirby was right.

I found the leggings.
And guess what…

There are TONS of them.
Racks and racks and stacks of them.
Which means…
Target is expecting LOTS of people to buy them.
I for one proved them right.
Get onboard people.
Leggings have landed.
My Kirby said they were going to be huge.
And you people doubted her.
That Kirby knows stuff. Especially clothes stuff.
By the way, I wish you all could have a Kirby.

Like, I wish I could wrap one up and give you a Kirby for your birthday.

Last week, she filled my couch with all things cool.

Cool shirts.

Cool pants.

That's what she does.

Kirby is my tie to trendy.

I wore her jeans with holes in the knees.

NEVER have I felt more hip.

My husband pointed out to me that I would probably be even cooler if I didn’t constantly point down to my holey knees and say, to perfect strangers, “Look how cool I am.”

He’s probably right.

If you’re feeling blah…or frumpy…or your hair really needs highlights, but you haven’t had the time or money…just go hole up some of your jeans.

You will feel like Angelina Jolie…

Or like Kirby.

Either way, things will be looking up.

I love that girl. And, I love that I'm going to be wearing leggings soon.

Right after Kirby finds me some shoes to go with them.


the Apels said...

You are really one of my favorite that okay considering James tells us not to show favoritism? How do I fight this?You are hilarious...I was laughing out loud...and when I told Char about how Aaron told you that you would be cooler if you didn't point at how cool you were--he told me that you pointed out to him how cool you looked in the holey's funny to me that your stories really are from real life experiences.

You live an exciting and crazy life. I love you, Heather Hendirck! I really think you are my biggest, most generous fan...except for maybe my Charlie for some reason he thinks I'm pretty "cool", too.

thedornaks said...

Ok, this is when you call Judy and say "Are you going to Target soon, or I need you to go to Target soon."....and yes, I would even buy you those leggings.

Seeing as I have no kids to poop in the Target bathroom, and I CAN shop slowly (although I can't shop too slowly or I find myself coveting necessary home decor that really isn't all that necessary), I would be delighted to find an excuse to go to Target.

I would even take a picture of the racks and stacks of leggings so you know you will soon be a part of something big in College Station....that it won't just be you and Kirby.

So, next time you want to get lost in purses or wipe a little hiney in Tarje', call me. I'll get the Spray and Wash or the leggings. Better yet, I'll stay home with your kids so YOU can giggle while you shop slowly.

Oh, and Kirby....Heather only has so much closet space. I would be more than happy to take your next load of clothes off your hands. :) Hee hee...

Love you girls!

Melodi said...

I got an Old Navy gift card for my b-day...and guess what I bought! Holey jeans!!!!!!!!! We pay money for holes in our jeans! I love it! And I didn't ask a single person if they noticed how cool I was. Does that mean I really AM cool???

Hendrick Family said...

For SURE, Melodi! You are the coolest of them all with your unannounced holey jeans. How did you keep it in? I was practically exploding with excitement about my knees coming through my jeans.

See...this is why she is my mentor people...because she can teach me to be self-controlled about my coolnes.

One day, when I have a kid practically in high school...I hope God has grown me so much that I can wear them, like Melodi, with out saying a word about how hip I feel...or even making subtle gestures to make people look down and notice my neat knees...

And I also want to have Melodi's legs.

Did I mention I have the coolest mentor ever? Did you gather that from this post?

I wanted to make sure you caught that.

Jennifer Bacak said...

Now that everyone has holey jeans, (I have TWO pair!) can we get back to the leggings? What is going on with these? Did you buy some? What are you going to wear them with? What would my butt look like in them? What shoes do you wear? What color are they? Where are you going to wear them? Back to the Target bathroom?