Thursday, June 01, 2006
.5 Ply Toilet Paper
Every time people come over, I feel so awkward because I want to make a public announcement while said people are here. To make a long story short, we have in our possession about 9,241 rolls of 1/2 ply toilet paper. It's like wiping with a butterfly's wing. I always want people to know that we don't like our toilet paper either. It's not just them. I think your toilet paper says a lot about you...and our current toilet paper is misrepresenting us big time.
We should probably just throw it all away and get some actual toilet paper, but that just seems wrong...almost as wrong as having to use this 1/2 ply toilet paper.
But, I have an idea. I want to wrap a house with it. Wouldn't that be so fun? So...here's the deal. Let's vote on whose house we should wrap. Here are the contestants:
1. The Garratts
(they have no dogs...so this is a plus, and Mike will cry)
2. The Bacaks
(they have some landscaping...so this is a plus as well)
3. I would say the Kramers, but I'm sure at the hour we would be wrapping their house, we would have to stop and talk to the thieves trying to steal something on their street...so you guys are out because I am terrified of facemasks and pistols.
4. The Dutys
(just the thought of this will get Allen so upset, it's going to be great).
Cast your vote. We'll let everyone but the losers know when the destruction of property is going to happen. I can not wait. We'll take pictures and make a movie. And, let's wear panty hose on our heads! Oh my word, I’m clapping with excitement!